What type of submissive are you?

[onlyforhim4ever]

My Dominant and I were recently talking about the degree a submissive is active or passive in her D/s relationship. Naturally it's a matter of what each particular Dom/Domme and sub couple prefers. I know my Dominant appreciates when I take it upon myself to show him my submission. We are nearly 24/7 so while we are almost always "in role" the level of D/s varies between a low constant buzz and loud rhythmic screams

If the level of D/s is low and I have a craving to 'kick it up a notch' I'm encouraged to show him this by demonstrating my submission to him (kneeling at his feet, nuzzling his thigh with my cheek, presenting my body to him in our specified way, asking him to use me for deep-throating, or even writing him D/s focused poetry or a story). This is also the way I demonstrate there is something I want to ask of him. If he allows me to, I ask respectfully for whatever it is I want/need.

I know it is hard to be a Dom/Domme, constantly being relied upon to 'make things happen' .... so every so often I try to help take the 'pressure' off and use my OWN creativity. Instead of just waiting for the next command (throw a dog a bone) I try to show him my submission and inspire/initiate things while still being respectful and in my place (ie. not topping from the bottom!).

Doms- What things does your submissive do already, if anything, to "actively and creatively submit" to you (that don't involve you commanding him/her to do it)? Are there certain things you'd like your sub (real or yet-to-come) to do/do more of? Do you appreciate it when your sub 'actively/creatively submits' on occassion or would you rather always be the one to initiate with him/her always passive?

subs- What do you do, if anything, to actively submit to your Dom/Domme? What other creative things do you come up with? What are his/her thoughts and does he/she appreciate it?

[Lord Douche]

Interesting topic! I think that could be a bit of a problem with D/s, the Dominant is usually the one who is relied on to be creative and find new ways to punish the submissive. A submissive could be creative, and suggest some new ways of doing things, purchase a new toy, etc. Of course, then it's up to the Dominant to twist her plan so she's always on her toes... sometimes literally
Not having had any experience, I can't say for sure, but I don't think I'd have any problem with a submissive being creative in her submission.
LD

[csr]

That is an insteresting topic indeed. I find it hard sometimes to help from slipping into the topping-from-the-bottom trap. As soon as she catches it though, she puts an end to it--which is good, because it spoils the submission altogether.

As far as being creative as a sub, I do most of the toy shopping (sometimes with orders, sometimes on my own). If I bring something home, it might get used, or it might not. And of course sometimes it might be a little more painful than I imagined and for a brief moment I might even wonder to myself why I bought it! Of course, I wouldn't dare ask for something not to be used when I was the one who chose it... something else would probably take it's place for twice as long.

Another time I get to be creative is in self-bondage. I am quite often ordered to "go to ___ room and tie yourself up using ___." I am expected to be creative within the parameters and do a good job. Needless to say, I usually have to wait there a while for any signs of approval/disapproval.

[subbiesarah]

my Master encourages me to suggest ideas for play, dress and outings. i bring them to Him and He will either agree or dismiss as He sees fit. my role, as i see it, is not be to a passive "yes Sir, no Sir" vacuum of ideas but to delight, amuse and turn Him on without ever TFTB which is the recipe for severe punishment or, worse, to be abandoned until He wishes to speak to me again.

Just my tuppence.

s.x.

[NightDaughter]

subs- What do you do, if anything, to actively submit to your Dom/Domme? What other creative things do you come up with? What are his/her thoughts and does he/she appreciate it?
Well for myself Master knows well enough that I am his. I show it to him daily by leaving him short notes to read when he wakes, and by extending my neck for my collar each morning (for medical reason I am currently unable to wear my collar to sleep in). I also tend to wear my locking ankle and wrist cuffs at all times, less we are going out or 'villas are coming over who know nothing of our lifestyle.

[esclava]

There are times when either or both of us slip into "doldrums." For quite a while I would quietly wait for Master to decide to use me again. Sometimes life would roll right over us and I'd end up having ridiculous meltdowns out of feeling unused and neglected. Once Master finally understood that I need (not want) to be used fairly regularly, or at least to know we're still on that particular wavelength, things changed. I'm officially his "attitude adjustment assistant." It's now my duty to inform Master when I'm feeling needy, I'm not allowed to "suck up & deal", and life is so much better, for both of us.

All of that said, I take an active role in finding ways for us to enjoy ourselves and each other, even when a full-blown playtime just can't be in the works. I will leave a small flogger under his pillow when I get ready for bed, or a packet of needles and alcohol wipes, or send him a story by email. Just something to get his attention. It's understood that my little "presents" may not be used *right now* but at least the seeds get planted and Master gets a nudge.

And of course, there are occasions when I'm much more focused on more mundane things...kids' grades or events at school, my glass business, plans for our new house, etc. At those times the funniest things happen. We will be cooking dinner and I'll suddenly find a knife point at the back of my neck, or I'll find the lube and a plug on our bathroom counter. Or I'll be at the computer and he'll grab my hair, pull me out of the chair and push me to my knees......We may get "stuck" but it usually doesn't last long.

A thought on TFTB.....Master believes it can't happen. I might make a try for something, but it's NOT going to happen unless he agrees. No way can I force him to do anything. If I say "Master, please, I need to be whipped" I'm just putting the idea out for him to act on. No harm in asking.