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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    somewhere usa
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    I finally got it posted! :)

    Hi all I finally submitted my first try at a story on the library! Check it out and tell me what you think ALL pointers, tips, etc are welcomed! Thanks!!!

  2. #2
    Electrified Non-Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Seattle
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    1,073
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    Grats!!! I look forward to reading it once it's posted...what's the title?
    Back!
    With your fiendish books of gods
    With suffering self-righteous pain
    Back!
    With Hell-fire and vicious rods
    With repressed passion gone insane
    Back!
    I won't lose my soul, too.

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    Mar 2007
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    somewhere usa
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    The story title is...

    ok it is posted It is called a Date with Destiny....please check it out and tell me what you think.

  4. #4
    Piegan Siksika
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    116
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    Hi demurelyyour,
    I'm a newbie like you, and I went and got the story, and ------------I loved it--------------
    I'm not a writer, so I'm not going to pretend to be a critic, and I'll restrict myself to just "Liked it","Didn't it", and you came out former rather than latter. What I especially liked was the creative way you characterize moan, groans, and speaking with a gag in your mouth. I laughed when I read them..........
    PPPS. I hope that story didn't follow the reality that closely.
    I was a long time in the scene, and nobody I knew would have done what your heroine did.
    Thanks again, demurely, for an enjoyable read

  5. #5
    Electrified Non-Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,073
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    Linky for those interested

    Good story, flowed nicely and was a pleasant read; needs some basic reworking with grammar and spelling, however. Remember, spell check is your friend!
    Back!
    With your fiendish books of gods
    With suffering self-righteous pain
    Back!
    With Hell-fire and vicious rods
    With repressed passion gone insane
    Back!
    I won't lose my soul, too.

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