How far to push?

[Aussiegirl1]

WB and I have been playing a bit harder lately, things like me having to beg for 30- 40 spanks with a spanker to cum and lots of cumming in different positions in one night. Not being into a lot of pain, the begging to cum via spanks, plus the spanks, really makes me feel very submissive (and horny).

This submission has recently been sending me into what we assume is subspace, which is great. The only thing is for me, it seems to be connected with tears ( which last night were sobs). After this I feel very blank and WB talks to me until he sees me smiling and knows I am feeling ok again. We have not gone on for too long after I start to cry, as we are unsure if we should or not!

What I am curious about is:-

For the subs - Have you experienced tears like I have when playing hard? Have you pushed past the tears, and if so, do you go to a more calm and peaceful zone?

For the Doms - Have you experienced this with your subs? Do you think it is subspace? Have you pushed a sub past tears and if so, what happened?

Do you think it is ok to push through tears, when they are not associated with pain or hurt but with the very strong emotions brought about by the play?

Looking forward to reading your views on this or hearing of your experiences.

AG

[Sir_Russell]

Interesting question, she cries I stop and sobs would be a faster stopping. The issue is that you aren't sobbing because of pain but emotional overload. I would be very careful with trying to push past this point and to reach that level often.

If I understand correctly WB is not with you physically and if that is correct it heightens the risk since no one is there to see you get help if needed.

sub-space is a warm comfortable place, your speech slows down and your volume goes soft it is as if your cares have ended. morgan tells me that I am there with her larger then a giant and that she can crawl inside me to be safe. If there is no outside stresser her demeanor will soften not just to me but to those who know her well. So this part of sub-space does last long after the experience and is why most of us are in the life. To know that material things aren't that important and that you find peace and happiness in your mind without any of them.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks Sir Russell. I do often feel that warm, comfortable place but I never really associated that with subspace. I can see now how it could be though.

You are right that WB is not physically with me. He makes sure he stays with me online, both checking to see I am smiling and ok on the webcam and listening to the tone of my voice. He doesn't leave till he is sure I am ok.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences, it is much appreciated.

[TeddyBearGaySlave]

For the subs - Have you experienced tears like I have when playing hard? Have you pushed past the tears, and if so, do you go to a more calm and peaceful zone?

I have cried rather often, but I very rarely have experienced that as emotional. It mostly felt like the way one might cry if you kick against something sturdy and brake your foot. I quess many times I would have been able to hold back the tears, but it felt so very right to do. And for me it was also exposing myself, which was hot.
Just sort of a catalyst reaction to pain. That "feeling blank" I rarely experience after physical torture, much more after psychological torture. After heavy physical torture I feel really good. Mixture of being horny, proud of myself, loving my master and feeling nearly 100% mentally exposed.

Hope that makes sense in english

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks teddy, and yes your post did make sense in English.

I have found my tears to be something that just comes to me, without a lot of warning and with not a lot of feelings attached. I guess that I am not holding back on letting my tears flow, which for me is a big thing too. I have spent far too much of my life not feeling my emotions.

[Ozme52]

These types of questions and the answers depend so much on the semantics we each use... and without knowing/seeing what exactly is happening, any advise must be taken with care.

I am generally in agreement with Sir Russell, if I took his meaning correctly.

I'll add that your tearful reaction and subsequent feeling of well-being sounds more like the cathartic high one gains from a good cry, which is an emotional "endorphic" reaction as opposed to the physical "endorphic" reaction which is generally associated with sub-space.

It sounds like you're being pushed "over the edge" by your emotional response to the "humiliation" of self-inflicted punishment as opposed to a physical response to the pleasent pain of the spankings. It really doesn't sound like you've disconnected per se... in fact it sounds like you've entered a heightened sense of pleasure.

But I don't think you need worry about any sort of endangerment because the main concern with being in subspace is: Is your partner aware that you've entered it, is taking care to not exceed your limits nor damage you physically while you are incapable of safe-wording.

Again, all that said, my advice is very dependent on my reading of your post. If it doesn't make sense to you... take a more conservative approach.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks Oz, you have given me something to think about!

[Ozme52]

You're most welcome sweet girl.

[Aussiegirl1]

You're most welcome sweet girl.

Ohh, now that is lovely Oz!

Cheers!