noob question.....about BDSM and vanilla

[Requiem]

something I was pondering while at work today....and I know this might sound crazy, but I'm still trying to assess how deeply into BDSM I would like to travel. So many things sound soooooo appealing , but here's a question. BDSM all the time or does vanilla sex still happen? What I've experimented with so far I love, but at the same time I do enjoy my vanilla too. lol if I can truly call it vanilla that is, maybe vanilla with chocolate chips is a better term, it's not just pure vanilla .

[Rhabbi]

That is totally up to the person involved. I know of people who say they do not do vanilla, and I know others who, like me, enjoy a mix.

[_ID_]

I'm one of those that can't do vanilla, I know cause I tried.

[Requiem]

thanks for the responses....i figured that the only way i'll find out is to try. LOL right now I'm torn, I like where I am now, but curiosity and desire have me yearning for more....take a guess at which one is going to win.

[Sir_Russell]

Well there is no such thing as bad sex but throw in a few cuffs and chains and it is great sex.

[nk_lion]

You can involve bdsm as much as you want in your life, there is no rule that defines that 90% of all sexual activities must be bdsm related or anything of that sort.

Personally, I consider myself more on the vanilla side with bdsm interests (that's sort of changing though), but in the end, it's whatever makes you happy.

And really no question is a noob question, we all have to start somewhere

[jeanne]

That's a good question - we're 80% vanilla (yes, with chocolate chips sometimes, that's a great analogy) and 20% BDSM. We only have time to really play on the weekends, so during the week are the vanilla times. I don't think we'll ever give up vanilla sex, it's just too fun, sometimes comforting, sometimes very gentle and loving. We both seem to need that to balance our more "extreme" activities.

[Dorkalicious]

Very good question For a while I was wondering the same thing. I like how you put it, with the chocolate chips.

As everyone else said, it's your own balance. What is 80% to you, might be 40% to another person. Depends on your knowledge and interest. Too many factors to involve here.

I know that I would like to delve much farther into a bdsm D/s relationship, I just have to find someone else willing to take that journey with me.

[ElectricBadger]

No reason to be torn between the two, not as though 'nilla sex is going to make you all loopy.

Personally, I love the kinky stuff but every now and then, it's wonderful to do the easy calm and just enjoy being with my love.

[TG]

Requiem, as far as I know there are as many kinds of BDSM as there are people in it. It's mix and match, pick and choose, freedom to do your own thing.
I've never heard of the SM police checking up on what anybody did.
I use to hang out at the big clubs in NY and, Jesus, that was a smorgusbord. It was so hard to tell who was who and what was what that it was considered common couretsey to explain what you were if someone asked, just so everybody could keep track of each other.
Do what the hell you feel like as long as you're not draging (pre-scene, that is) your significant other into it kicking and screaming.
Good luck, enjoy, and let your imagination have a field day.
And a rollicking good time was had by all

[crikey_2004]

Vanilla is also an icecream flavor, and since all icecream is good...