some thoughts..

[WyldWyl]

Ok, as I've been here about three months now, and seeing as this is my 100th post, I thought I'd do something interesting and throw some thoughts out there. Just some things that have come into my head as I continue to learn and develop in this new environment. This'll be fairly unstructured, so feel free to leave at any point. but to those of you who slug it out...my thanks.

I guess what's surprised me most is that I've learned more about myself than anything else. I've looked at others lives, talked about things, had some interesting discussions and experiences and I've come away understanding a couple of things about what makes me tick. Without going into my life-story, this has been very interesting, as it's shown me I'm not quite as together as I may have thought. But I've exposed some positive facets of myself, enough to hold that in balance. We move forwards.

I think what surprised me most was talking to people who live the D/s life full0time. Obviously, at my tender years I've got no experience of that, but hearing their accounts makes me very interested in trying it. It's lead me to think that at the heart of it, a good relationship in that manner approaches symbiosis. Of course, a relationship probably doesn't have to be D/s to reach that kind of connection, but it can approach it from an angle that gives perhaps a unique advantage. There's something about that thought of two people connecting completely and acting with that level of harmony that makes me want to feel it. Not uncommon, I'm sure.

I've also been very impressed with the caliber of people this site seems to attract. Of course, I don't know if this level of 'good-personness' is representative of the entire world of kink in general (although my inner cynic says it can't be. he's very opinionated), but certainly in a very short time I've encountered some impressive and down-right amazing people.

The main thing is that for everything I've learnt, I seem to be generating more questions, coming up with more ideas, more thoughts and flashes of inspiration that just lead to more questions. Of course, the challenge now is going forwards and putting them into practice. Wish me luck, as I wish it to you.

Alright, I'm sure I've taken up enough of your time now, if you've read this far. Thank you for those of you who took the time, and double-thanks to those who take the further time to talk to me about it. I hope you've found my little musings interesting.

Here's to the next hundred! (and the next, and the next, and the next...)

[MajesticFae]

I'm with you, Wyl. I've learned so much while being here. I've grown as a person and started to figure out who I really am. It's wonderful that something so taboo to some people can just open up others eyes. It's fabulous.

It's great that you're learning and growing and forumlating new ideas and questions. Kudos to you, sweetie.

*hugs*

I'd give you a cookie, but you only get that when you hit 1000 posts. *gives you one tenth of a cookie* Sorry, darling, you'll have to try harder for that cookie!

[Rhabbi]

The questions come because you know what to ask. At first all we can do is look around because we know so little, and then we start to understand and learn that we know lees than nothing.

[moptop]

WyldWyl, although I'm not coming here so often now, I do like to pop back, and I spent a huge amount of time here when I first began to discover my submissive self, last year. Yes, this place attracts amazing people - I believe this lifestyle attracts amazing people, actually. Thoughtful people. People who genuinely do question themselves, their motivations, who listen to others, and who learn, learn, learn...

May you enjoy learning, for the rest of your life. It is a wonderful if sometimes scarey way to be.

[WyldWyl]

Wow, this thread got buried deep! Well, so much for my plan of doing this every 100 posts, but hey... every hundred-ish posts is close enough. Also interesting to think that babies conceived as I was posting my previous contribution to this thread could now well have been born. That's a little trippy, so much water under the bridge.

So. What's changed, what's happened, how is my bdsm life different to what it was? Let's get ready to ramble!

The most obvious change of course is that I now have a reasonable degree of real-life experience, both as a top and a bottom. It's not a true D/s relationship, more just kinky sex in a more conventional relationship. It's been an eye-opener, finally getting to grips with the reality of the experience, beyond just a fantasy or an aesthetic appeal.

I recall the first time I really took a heavy (for my standards) session with the flogger and the cane. I was a complete mess, crying uncontrollably-, not so much from the physical pain but from the fear and my perceived inability to stop it. But looking back I knew I had a safeword, and there was a way to make it stop, which I didn't take. So obviously at some level I chose not to use it- i think out of a desire both to make my man proud of me, and to prove to myself that I really could take it.

I've also been changed to a great degree by the relationships I've forged with people online. While the situation is perhaps too complex and too personal to be delved into here with any depth, the experiences of the last six months, and the people I've shared it with has been amazing. Of course the first mention (and for fear of leaving out important people, probably the only one) has to go to my kitten, Snowflake. She's taught me an amazing amount about myself and the true intricacies of D/s relationships- it hasn't been all wine and roses, nor have we always gotten along perfectly- but I would not give up any moment of what we've shared.

Ultimately, I think I can boil down my experiences and lessons to a few bullet points, just for simplicities sake.

1. - Canes hurt. Alot.
2. - Even online, D/s relationships take an amazing amount of work, but can also be incredibly fulfilling.
3. - It turns out I actually can sub to another guy. Previously I'd only seen myself as being able to be the dom in a same-sex relationship, now I know it's not the case.
4. - Point 4 escapes me at the moment.

Ok, that's it. Comments, Opinions, Discussion?

[Euryleia]

Congratulations on continuing your journey. It sounds like you're learning a lot and having a good time.

Here's a proverb for you: “When you have completed 95 percent of your journey, you are only halfway there.”

I look forward to see your next followup a hundred posts from now.

[snowflake]

I've also been changed to a great degree by the relationships I've forged with people online. While the situation is perhaps too complex and too personal to be delved into here with any depth, the experiences of the last six months, and the people I've shared it with has been amazing. Of course the first mention (and for fear of leaving out important people, probably the only one) has to go to my kitten, Snowflake. She's taught me an amazing amount about myself and the true intricacies of D/s relationships- it hasn't been all wine and roses, nor have we always gotten along perfectly- but I would not give up any moment of what we've shared.

oh Sir you are so kind .. but then again that is you.. sure it wasn't all a bed of roses.. mainly because of things out of our control.. but you are right ...i would not give a second of it up... and still jump at the chances we have to be together...

You have changed a great degree since i met you.. but the one thing you have never lost.. is your magic with words.. and how they entwine in my head... and i will treasure each moment for a life time..

There were many things also i learnt from you and will treasure as i continue to grow... As we never stop learning from each other.. You were awesome at learning and i hope i was good at teaching for little i know {winks}... but i didn't feel it was just a learning experience.. it is much more..

With that being said .. i can only hope you grow more in your adventures in life... as i know you will.. i have faith in that...

Congrats on your 211th post Sir...!!

hugs
kitten,
aka
your
little one.

[Tojo]

An excellent thread- I've only just discovered it- It's always great to hear people's impressions.

Your point about learning about yourself is well made. That's the thing I wasn't ready for, this is a journey of self discovery for both Doms & subs.

To learn so much about another person, their likes & dislikes- fears & dreams, is life changing for both people. D/s is so much more than it seems on the surface.

As for the people, I've met some of the nicest, most genuine people I've ever known.

[WyldWyl]

-feels loved-

[snowflake]

OK.. so an add on...

You HAVE grown more in the BDSM life and you HAVE become more knowledgeable...

Your skills in how to be more creative and to be able to Dom a sub have increased immensely... and have only complimented you..

If there was a class in BDSM and i was your teacher... you would have been given an A+ without a doubt...

Thank you Sir for showing me what you have learnt over the last few months..

You truly amaze me at times.. and go beyond my expectations..

hugs
kitten
aka little one