my journey

[Dorkalicious]

*peeks in....wanders about.....takes a random tickle attack on tessa* Hehehehe

[tessa]

*peeks in....wanders about.....takes a random tickle attack on tessa* Hehehehe

Woohoo! A D-lish tickle attack!! What a way to do random, girlie.

Well, sometimes big deals happen with the utterance of a few words.

DD and I were having a conversation last week. About sex. A really good topic for discussion. I highly recommend it. Anyway, we were just talking about this and that when he said, "if sex doesn't have that BDSM edge, I guess I'm just not as satisfied with it as much as I used to be. Not that I'd turn down the other kind of sex. I'd just prefer it to be the freak kind."

Yeah, my cheering section went wild, too.

Baby steps seem to be working just fine in this case.

Now if I can just manage to find a way to be patient enough to wait for "more". That's the battle raging away now.

tessa

[jeanne]

Well, sometimes big deals happen with the utterance of a few words.

DD and I were having a conversation last week. About sex. A really good topic for discussion. I highly recommend it. Anyway, we were just talking about this and that when he said, "if sex doesn't have that BDSM edge, I guess I'm just not as satisfied with it as much as I used to be. Not that I'd turn down the other kind of sex. I'd just prefer it to be the freak kind."

Yeah, my cheering section went wild, too.

Baby steps seem to be working just fine in this case.

Now if I can just manage to find a way to be patient enough to wait for "more". That's the battle raging away now.

tessa

Oh, my gosh! Are we living twin lives separated by distance or what?

[John56{vg}]

Awwww. You two warm my heart.

I love you two sexy sultry intelligent beautiful subbish-like human beings. And I am sooo happy for you Tessa my darling.

And for you too bonnie Jeanne.

And inhonor of the moment I an retiring my fainting Helmet. I don't faint anymore I just roll my eyes and go goofy. ~wink~

~huggles you both alll up~

With much love,

John

[jeanne]

John, you are just too cute! And I'm so glad you've gotten your fainting under control - now you won't miss out on all the fun!

[MajesticFae]

That's awesome, tessa. I'm glad he's realizing how much fun kink and freaky sex is. I love normal sex probably because I don't have bdsm sex often at all. I still go for the rough kinds of normal vanilla sex though, with the hair pull, scratching and occasional bum smacking. Yum!

[moptop]

Ahhhh - slowly but surely, Tessa, you evil, evil woman, you are perverting the poor innocent defenceless DD...

Now, if you could only get him onto CR...

[pixie_dust]

*claps hands and jumps up and down doing a happy dance*

Yippeeeeee!!!!

Oh, and if I may suggest, if you want more.... perhaps a little "on your knees" begging might work. It just may add a little inspiration.

[tessa]

Oh, I just love all you wonderful souls! ~gets a Kleenex and dabs at the happy tears~

jeanne, since you're understanding just how that conversation went, did you just about fall over or what?!!? I couldn't believe my ears. How about you? ~hugs my twin~

Yay, John! Like jeanne said, no more missing the naked, dancing subbies!

Um, Fae? That's some pretty damn erotic stuff happening during your sex. Love the detals! Not much vanilla there. Woohoo!

moptop, me evil??? Now where did you get that idea?? Maybe I've just been reading your posts and learning a hell of a lot. And no CR for me.

~dances the happy subbie dance with the pretty pixie~ I will be trying your suggestion out ASAP! It's all about more. That's what I truly want. Thanks, darling pixie! ~huggles~

[MajesticFae]

*giggles* I'm glad you liked the little bitty details. I could give you even more little bitty details, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get you up from the puddle you melted into.

[tessa]

*giggles* I'm glad you liked the little bitty details. I could give you even more little bitty details, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get you up from the puddle you melted into.

You might not be able to get me up, but I bet you could lick me up.

Oh my, that was naughty,wasn't it??

[Dorkalicious]

Random is my middle name dear

[jeanne]

jeanne, since you're understanding just how that conversation went, did you just about fall over or what?!!? I couldn't believe my ears. How about you? ~hugs my twin~

Yes, we've had several of those conversations very recently that I walked away from saying "holy sh**, I'm getting what I want here and he actually brought it up" and then got a little chill down my spine - you know, that delicious, slightly fearful shiver that says "okay, now can you really handle it?"

He just shocks the crap out of me sometimes - sounds the same for you. Oh, and the whole "you are here to serve me and only me, whether you get off on it or not" dynamic that he didn't seem to be feeling? Well, he's feeling it all right and I have now gone 5 days without, while he's pretty damn happy. Actually, I'm feeling pretty damn happy too... hooray for husbands that are willing to explore their own dark corners!

When I read your post, I just yelled out loud, in my empty house, with no one around... "Oh my God!!" and burst out laughing! No, no mental illness in my family, I swear - we just call Southern women who talk to themselves "eccentric" or "touched" - actually "tetched" but figured I'd better spell it correctly so everyone else knew what I was talking about - I know you do, tessa.

*a big hug just for you*
jeanne

[tessa]

Yes, we've had several of those conversations very recently that I walked away from saying "holy sh**, I'm getting what I want here and he actually brought it up" and then got a little chill down my spine - you know, that delicious, slightly fearful shiver that says "okay, now can you really handle it?"

That's incredible! You just wrote out everything I've thought and felt!!

He just shocks the crap out of me sometimes - sounds the same for you. hooray for husbands that are willing to explore their own dark corners!

WOOHOO for those dark corners!!

When I read your post, I just yelled out loud, in my empty house, with no one around... "Oh my God!!" and burst out laughing! No, no mental illness in my family, I swear - we just call Southern women who talk to themselves "eccentric" or "touched" - actually "tetched" but figured I'd better spell it correctly so everyone else knew what I was talking about - I know you do, tessa.

I just did the same thing reading your post,'cept I wasn't alone and my little one is saying, "are you okay, Mommy?" I know just what you're talking about, jeanne. ~winks~ My Grandma called it being "a bit affected by the spirit". ~giggles~ I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to spell out "affected" in the Southern way...hmm, let me try- "uh-fayk-tid" - Hey! I think that's it!

~hugs~

[gagged_Louise]

I just did the same thing reading your post, /talked loud to herself/ 'cept I wasn't alone and my little one is saying, "are you okay, Mommy?" I know just what you're talking about, jeanne. ~winks~

It's sorta noticeable you don't live in a city where lots of people are walking around with handsfree corded (invisinble) cell phones. Over here, i see people every day "talking to themselves" in the street, on the train, even in the grocery store. Sometimes just chatting, sometimes saying things so outrageous you really wish they'd have waited till they got home - or just smiling at it. And yes, the no-no on talking to yourself in public used to be as strong here as it is in the States, or even stronger...

[John56{vg}]

I remember waiting at a traffic light on Market Street in San Francisco. Several people passed by us, but one gentleman would walk into the intersection and then turn and yell at nobody there behind him. He was having a heated argument withhis imaginary friend.

I tuened to my ex-wife and told her, "It is just a really bad day, when your imaginary friends turn against you."

Have a great day everyone.

[MajesticFae]

It drives me nuts when people are using hands free devices because I can never tell if they're talking to me or the person on the phone... but I still want one.


And yes, oh lovely tessa, We're 'tetched' and we're often uppity and suffer from the vapors.

[Flaming_Redhead]

*giggles hysterically* Tessa, I'm imagining you... *snickers* I'm sorry. I read too much. hahahahahahahahaha Ok, so I'm not sorry! It's funny as hell...or this damn rootbeer...

"Please, sir, I want some more."
"What!" said the master at length, in a faint voice.
"Please, sir," replied Tessa, "I want some more."

I hope the master doesn't offer a reward of 5 pounds to anybody who will take Tessa off his hands. *giggles*

[tessa]

*giggles hysterically* Tessa, I'm imagining you... *snickers* I'm sorry. I read too much. hahahahahahahahaha Ok, so I'm not sorry! It's funny as hell...or this damn rootbeer...

"Please, sir, I want some more."
"What!" said the master at length, in a faint voice.
"Please, sir," replied Tessa, "I want some more."

I hope the master doesn't offer a reward of 5 pounds to anybody who will take Tessa off his hands. *giggles*

Ha.......Ha. Aren't you just too damn cute.

~giggles~ I love that line! I say it ALL the time, with the accent and everything!

5 pounds?? *pffffffffttttt* That medicine has "uh-fayk-ted" your brain, sweetie. It'd take a bigger reward offer than that for someone to be willing to take me off anything...hands or what have you.

[Rabbit1]

I am glad things worked out for you love ----and yes I have been keeping track of your progress ----I am pleased you are finding your way in the lifestyle ---and glad your husband could be your dom ----it is so sad that many spouses think the lifestyle is dirty ---kinky ----and will not even talk about it with their partner ----But I have always said be open and honest with your mate ----and if they can not listen and help provide what you need in your life ---maybe you made a mistake in choosing your mate ---life is too short to be unhappy ----and I have seen a few marriages fall apart because one of the partners was unwilling to try or even educate themselves about what their partner wanted or needed ----

Hugs

[tessa]

Mr. Rabbit, I know how busy you are (so very, very busy). That you took the time to add your insights here have touched me deeply. So much so that I need a moment to go get a tissue so I can see through the tears to type the rest of what I want to say.

~deep breath~ Ok, enough of that girl stuff. When I found this wonderful community, you were so generous and helpful to me. Being "open and honest" in my communication was one of the first pieces of advice you gave me. One of the best as it turned out. Why I didn't believe this could be a part of my life is still a mystery to me. But you, and some other truly special souls here, have helped and guided me along this journey I knew I needed to take. For all of it, for who you are to me, my most sincere gratitude.

And now I need another kleenex. So much for enough of the girl stuff...

[tessa]

I just read through this again after a good bit of time. Almost a year?!? Wow. Seriously...wow.

Reading Jim's post made me cry and cry. But in a good way. I'm so glad I listened to him and approached my husband in the first place. This journey has been NOTHING like I expected, but wonderful nonetheless. Thanks Mr. Rabbit. ~sends him a kiss in heaven~

All the responses I had saying, "be patient", "this takes time", well to be honest, a year ago, they just pissed me off. But I was stupid then. Now I know better.

See? Blondes aren't so dumb after all.

Communication. If there was one word I can use to sum up the key to all this, that would be it. Open, honest, from the heart, don't care if it hurts your feelings a little right now because it needs to be said, Communication. I can't say it boldly or more colorfully than that. The effectiveness of it will make or break the relationship. If I hold back in being open, he holds back the same. He holds back and keeps to himself, so do I. But when we both stop filtering and speak our hearts and minds, it works. And very well. Please try it sometime for yourself and see.

One thing I've come to know as a major truth- he really can't read my mind. And dammit. That would make life so much simpler. But here's another truth- I can't read his either. And he kinda thought I could. It's made for a few rough patches along the way. So to all of you trying this out, remember- NO ONE, not even the most perfectly insightful Dominant, nor the most wonderfully intuitive submissive, can read minds. It eliminates a lot of the anger and resentment when you realize this truth for yourself. You stop placing unrealistic expectations on the other when you know the reading another's mind is a fallacy created in sickeningly sweet fairy tales. Say what you're thinking or the other won't know. Period.

Another thing I just have to say. It is impossible to know where this journey will go from here. I've stopped trying to plan it out as that's pretty much impossible as well. It follows it's own path, meandering here and there sometimes, and at other times blazing a trail you never imagined could exist. And watch out for those rocky edges as you go. They can be difficult to navigate and a bitch to climb back up if you go over.

Basically, what I've learned since getting into this is...(drum roll please)...I know nothing. Not one single thing.

But I'm learning. And I'll keep learning. Because I want to. Because I need to.

And because you can't buy this kind of high. I'm completely addicted.

The BDSM addicted Subbierella. Now that's a tale ~giggles~ I could sink my teeth into. And claws. Can't forget those.

[suchaminx]

tessa

WOW I can't believe it has been a year either.

I am sure your honesty and openess in this thread has not only helped you but been an inspiration to others.

I know that I am better person for knowing you and have learnt from you.......yes really!!

Thank you for being you, for caring and for the messages and hugs when I needed them most

love and hugs minxy xx

[Aussiegirl1]

I think it is great you have made it a year! I know how long a year can be in a BDSM journey, and how much can happen in that time!

I am so very pleased you are happy but more pleased that this year has allowed you and your husband to communicate and find out so much more about each other. I fully agree, COMMUNICATION is the key, without it everything just falls in a heap.

Hugs to you honey and I hope the next year is even better!

[Logic1]

sounds like great revelations for a year and I sure hope that the next year will be even better

[tessa]

~hugs minxy~ You were elemental in all this as well. Yes, really! ~smiles~ You know I love you all up.

~gropes all over AG and hopes Warbaby is watching~ I agree with you on that heap thing. Without the big 'C', it all falls apart. And without the big 'C', there's no big 'O'- let's not forget that.

And thanks, Logic! What a sweetie you are to wish me the best. I know only this...the next year is guaranteed to bring the unexpectedly expected. Or maybe that's the other way around. I've been lusting all over your avatar and I'm distracted.

[gagged_Louise]

*leans over and kisses Tessa behind the ear* hey girl, 'aven't heard that much from you in the last few weeks. I'm happy you're still here, you know.

[tessa]

*leans over and kisses Tessa behind the ear* hey girl, 'aven't heard that much from you in the last few weeks. I'm happy you're still here, you know.

~turns and huggles Louise~ And I'm so glad to see you. You've been missed.

Life has grabbed me in a big way. It's shaking me all around and doesn't want to turn loose. But...one day.

[Playfulsub]

I'm glad you posted an update; it brought this thread to the top so I could see it. I'm in the same boat you were in a year ago, and I'm very happy to have your journey to read.

Thanks for sharing!

[tessa]

playful, congratulations with your journey. Hopefully we can hear from you about yours? We can always benefit from other's perspectives.

My best to you-
tessa