kaena's first assignment

[Dragon's muse]

Welcome to the block! For your first assignment, craft a scene/chapter/story that begins with the following line.

Connie was frustrated and confused. The day had begun so well; what made it go so horribly wrong?

[kaena]

(here is my first assignment. I decided upon a quick scene which can be continued if you wish. Look forward to your expert opinions)

Kidnapped

Connie was frustrated and confused. The day had begun so well; what made it go so horribly wrong? Pulling against the restraints on her arms she cursed, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to remove the blindfold from her eyes. Finding her actions to be futile, she lay back on what felt to be a lumpy old mattress and pondered over what could have put her in this situation. Only one thing came to her mind, "David". It had to have been him. All she remembered was her date with him and then retiring to his apartment for a drink afterwards. The next thing she knew she was waking up here, bound and blindfolded, the cool air on her skin making her realize that she was naked as well.

"Hey, is anyone there?" she called out, listening carefully for any noise in the room. She thought she heard the shuffle of feet but there was no answer to her call. Listening more intently, she again heard the rustle of someone moving. "I know you are there. David is that you?"

She jumped as she felt the touch of a hand on her bare stomach. Shivers ran down her spine as the hand moved slowly up her stomach and cupped her breast, squeezing it hard. "David has done well delivering you to me," a cold voice said, sending more shivers down her spine. "His service was no longer needed." Connie gasped at the implication of their words, a surge of terror striking her heart.

"Wh..who are you?" she stuttered, her fear choking her voice. "What do you want from me?"

A chuckle resounded through the room as the hand on her body moved to her other breast and pinched her nipple.

"Who I am is of no concern to you," they replied, twisting her nipple cruelly, making her gasp. "I think it is rather obvious what I want from you."

Connie trembled under their touch, realizing after listening to the voice that it was definetely a man that had her captive. His words frightened as well as excited her, the feel of his hands on her breasts starting to turn her on. "Please. Dont hurt me," she pleaded as the hand moved away from her breast and she felt her nipple being taken into his mouth, making her moan softly. She moaned even more as his hand slid down her stomach and delved between her legs, his finger brushing against her clit.

"I don't plan on hurting you," he said, biting her breast and making her jump again. "Not yet anyways."

[Dragon's muse]

Just a quick note to let you know i have seen this. Will get to it ASAP. Weekends can be hairy in dragon land.

[Dragon's muse]

Excellent beginning, good show of emotion, stable POV and tense. A few minor nits, but nothing really major. A wonderful first assignment. i will get your next assignment up today or tomorrow.

rose

(here is my first assignment. I decided upon a quick scene which can be continued if you wish. Look forward to your expert opinions)

Kidnapped

Connie was frustrated and confused. The day had begun so well; what made it go so horribly wrong? Pulling against the restraints on her arms she cursed, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to remove the blindfold from her eyes. (slightly awkward construction here. Maybe try, "Pulling against her arm restraints and cursing, she shook her head in a desperate attempt to remove the blindfold from her eyes.) Finding her actions to be futile, (Her actions were futile; ) she lay back on what felt to be (like) a lumpy old mattress and pondered over (delete) what could have put her in this situation. Only one thing came to her mind, "David". It had to have been him. All she remembered was her date with him and then retiring to his apartment for a drink afterwards. The next thing she knew she was waking up here, bound and blindfolded, the cool air on her skin making her realize that (told her)she was naked as well.

"Hey, is anyone there?" she called out, listening carefully for any noise in the room. She thought she heard the shuffle of feet but there was no answer to her call. Listening more intently, she again heard the rustle of someone moving. "I know you are there. David is that you?"

She jumped as she felt the touch of a hand on her bare stomach. Shivers ran down her spine as the hand moved slowly up her stomach and cupped her breast, squeezing it hard. "David has done well delivering you to me," a cold voice said, sending more shivers down her spine. "His service was no longer needed." Connie gasped at the implication of their words, a surge of terror striking her heart.

"Wh..who are you?" she stuttered, her fear choking her voice. "What do you want from me?"

A chuckle resounded through the room as the hand on her body moved to her other breast and pinched her nipple.

"Who I am is of no concern to you," they replied, twisting her nipple cruelly, making her gasp. "I think it is rather obvious what I want from you."

Connie trembled under their touch, realizing after listening to the voice (delete) that it was definetely a man that had her captive. His words frightened as well as (and)excited her, the feel of his hands on her breasts starting to turn her on. "Please. Dont hurt me," she pleaded as the hand moved away from her breast and she felt her nipple being taken into his mouth, making her moan softly. She moaned even more as his hand slid down her stomach and delved between her legs, his finger brushing against her clit.

"I don't plan on hurting you," he said, biting her breast and making her jump again. "Not yet anyways (anyway)."