PlayfulSub's First Assignment

[Dragon's muse]

Welcome to the block.

For your first assignment, craft a scene/chapter/story that involves the following elements.

A single ruby earring
A pound of coffee beans
A laptop computer

[Playfulsub]

“Damn it!” I yelled at the bag of groceries as it slipped out of my hand and onto the floor. I yelled again as I watched the pound of gourmet coffee beans go skating across the floor like an army of large round ants. Probably a third of the beans rolled under the refrigerator. I kicked the door shut with my foot and managed to get the other bag onto the table before it suffered the same fate.

“Such a lazy dumb ass. One more trip to the car wouldn't have killed you.” I cursed myself several times over for trying to carry too many bags. I put away the remaining groceries and then grabbed the broom to sweep up the beans. Dumping the dirty beans into the trash, I rolled my eyes and sighed, imagining myself throwing $11.95 in coins into the trash instead.

Slipping out of my jacket, I walked to the pantry for the already open bottle of pinot noir. I poured myself a glass and went through the mail on the table. Nothing interesting, as usual. Grabbing my wineglass and a bag of pretzels, I headed to the living room. I sat heavily into the leather couch, sat my wine on the table, and opened my laptop while putting it on my lap. I took a large sip of wine and rested my head on the back of the couch for a minute, trying to relax. The bag of pretzels sat on the couch next to me and called to me. I grabbed a handful and munched thoughtfully. I wonder if he's online now? I thought as I took another sip of wine.

I turned on my laptop and waited as it went through its usual warm up activities. Icon after icon popped up on the blue background, finally indicating its full-on status. I sat for a moment, watching the screen as it mocked me. He's not online; he has a life. Does everyone's computer speak to them? Probably, I guessed. I signed into my IM service. Nope, he's not online. Why would he be? It's Friday night and he probably has a date with some young thing. Bastard.

“Fuck it, I'll do some early Christmas shopping instead,” I muttered as I directed my browser to Amazon. I surfed for a while, then must have nodded off to sleep. I awoke with a gloved hand clenched over my mouth and a man's arm wrapped around my neck. My heart pounded as I came to and realized what was happening. I panicked, but every time I struggled, the arm got tighter around my neck.

“Stop struggling and I won't have to hurt you. Too much.” A man's voice growled in my ear, his breath warm. I tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths. I felt a pinch on my earlobe and looked down to see a single ruby earring bounce off my breast and onto my lap. His grip on my neck had pulled my earring out. I panicked again and started to struggle. The crook of his elbow caught me in the windpipe and I couldn't breathe.

“You're not listening. Not being a good girl, are you?” He took his hand off my mouth.

“What do you want?” I somehow managed to choke this question out.

“I want you. And now I have you.”

“Please, you're hurting me.”

“Ahhh, but that's what you want me to do.” His menacing laugh felt hot against my ear.

“I don't want you to hurt me!”

“That's exactly what you want, pet.”

“Please! You're scaring me, and I don't know what you want.”

“What I want is to tie you to this table and fuck you stupid, that's what I want. Ever been fucked so hard that you just couldn't think anymore? No? I know you haven't, but you want it.”

I felt a knot in my stomach as I listened to his words. My God, I've said those exact words! I remembered back to a chat with... We cybered this very scene.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

“Whatever I want. That's how it works, remember?”

[Ruby]

Hi Playfulsub,

Now, that was a tasty treat!

Well told, exciting and it built to a fine climax.

I'd probably format it a bit differently, not to mix some of the quotes in the upper section with the action, yet your style is fine.

The use if italics for thoughts is a tricky one. Since she's telling the story. She doesn't need them. If she says, I thought, then she can use quotation marks. Otherwise, just using regular sentences flows well.

Keep up the great work,

Ruby

[Playfulsub]

Thank you, Ruby. I appreciate the review and the feedback. I'm never quite sure how to accurately portray thoughts. Using quotation marks for things said out loud makes sense, but when they are simply thought, I always feel they need something to draw a distinction. Maybe not, though!

Thanks again!

[ladychipmunk]

Hi there,

That was wonderful. You really drew me into the story and now I want to know what happens next!

Keep up the good work.

LadyC

[Playfulsub]

Hi there,

That was wonderful. You really drew me into the story and now I want to know what happens next!

Keep up the good work.

LadyC

Thank you, LadyC. I do plan to continue it!

[Dragon's muse]

You are up in the morning. Thanks for being patient.
r

[Dragon's muse]

Nice characterization of the main character. You pulled me in right from the get-go because i have done the very thing with too many grocery bags, and berated myself in the same way.

And not a single nit to pick.

Good work and get upstairs to level II to let Aussiegirl work her wicked way with you.

“Damn it!” I yelled at the bag of groceries as it slipped out of my hand and onto the floor. I yelled again as I watched the pound of gourmet coffee beans go skating across the floor like an army of large round ants.(very cool image, kudos) Probably a third of the beans rolled under the refrigerator. I kicked the door shut with my foot and managed to get the other bag onto the table before it suffered the same fate.

“Such a lazy dumb ass. One more trip to the car wouldn't have killed you.” I cursed myself several times over for trying to carry too many bags. I put away the remaining groceries and then grabbed the broom to sweep up the beans. Dumping the dirty beans into the trash, I rolled my eyes and sighed, imagining myself throwing $11.95 in coins into the trash instead.

Slipping out of my jacket, I walked to the pantry for the already open bottle of pinot noir. I poured myself a glass and went through the mail on the table. Nothing interesting, as usual. Grabbing my wineglass and a bag of pretzels, I headed to the living room. I sat heavily into the leather couch, sat my wine on the table, and opened my laptop while putting it on my lap. I took a large sip of wine and rested my head on the back of the couch for a minute, trying to relax. The bag of pretzels sat on the couch next to me and called to me. I grabbed a handful and munched thoughtfully. I wonder if he's online now? I thought as I took another sip of wine.

I turned on my laptop and waited as it went through its usual warm up activities. Icon after icon popped up on the blue background, finally indicating its full-on status. I sat for a moment, watching the screen as it mocked me. He's not online; he has a life. Does everyone's computer speak to them? Probably, I guessed. I signed into my IM service. Nope, he's not online. Why would he be? It's Friday night and he probably has a date with some young thing. Bastard.

“Fuck it, I'll do some early Christmas shopping instead,” I muttered as I directed my browser to Amazon. I surfed for a while, then must have nodded off to sleep. I awoke with a gloved hand clenched over my mouth and a man's arm wrapped around my neck. My heart pounded as I came to and realized what was happening. I panicked, but every time I struggled, the arm got tighter around my neck.

“Stop struggling and I won't have to hurt you. Too much.” A man's voice growled in my ear, his breath warm. I tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths. I felt a pinch on my earlobe and looked down to see a single ruby earring bounce off my breast and onto my lap. His grip on my neck had pulled my earring out. I panicked again and started to struggle. The crook of his elbow caught me in the windpipe and I couldn't breathe.

“You're not listening. Not being a good girl, are you?” He took his hand off my mouth.

“What do you want?” I somehow managed to choke this question out.

“I want you. And now I have you.”

“Please, you're hurting me.”

“Ahhh, but that's what you want me to do.” His menacing laugh felt hot against my ear.

“I don't want you to hurt me!”

“That's exactly what you want, pet.”

“Please! You're scaring me, and I don't know what you want.”

“What I want is to tie you to this table and fuck you stupid, that's what I want. Ever been fucked so hard that you just couldn't think anymore? No? I know you haven't, but you want it.”

I felt a knot in my stomach as I listened to his words. My God, I've said those exact words! I remembered back to a chat with... We cybered this very scene.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

“Whatever I want. That's how it works, remember?”

[Playfulsub]

Cool, thanks!

[Aussiegirl1]

Ohh goody, another willing victim! LOL

I can see why you are being sent up to level 2, you have a very nice style and have a lot of potential. I will look forward to getting to know you better very soon.