What does it take to be considered a switch?

[Mistress Orchid]

I have been trying to decide if that is what I should call myself. Really, the only person so far that I have been comfortable being submissive to is my husband, and all other persons I choose to play with, I have been dominant. However, since I have started down the road as submissive to my husband, I must admit, I enjoy parts of it very much. Im not entirely sure I could be submissive to anyone else, but I have been tempted many times to try it. Being a submissive has given me great insight as a Domme, and my husband gives me many ideas to use! So, do you have to switch back and forth at will to be considered a switch? Or would I be considered one because I am already playing both roles? What is your take on the subject?

[Tojo]

Well in my humble opinion if you can go both ways with anyone you're a switch.

I know when I identified as a sub it would have taken a special person to Domme me, from what I can see it's the same with all subs. As I said in another thread, I'd like to see some of the 'wannabee' Doms try it with one of my girls!

On the other hand I wouldn't be in the least interested in Domming just anyone.

I maintain it's a special relationship between two people, & there's essentially no such thing as a 'sub' or a 'Dom/me' when you get right down to it.


Tojo

[Brosco]

I have explained elsewhere that I have been in both roles, altho I didn't consider myself a switch. At any one time I was in one role with one partner, but I have switched back and forth over the years.

I am really responding to this thread because of one particular statement:
"Being a submissive has given me great insight as a Domme,.. "

To this, I agree. On many forums you will see debates: "Do ex-subs make better Doms". I most certainly don't think so, but they do make a different sorta Dom. Their experience allows them to see inside the head of their subbie in a different way. It will depend on the relationship if this is an assett or not. A subbie that wants to be used totally for another's pleasure really doesn't need a Dom that particularly cares about her motives, however, a Dom that likes mind games can use the knowledge and experience in powerful ways, and showing control by demonstrating a total understanding of her needs.

Brosco

[Ruby]

So, do you have to switch back and forth at will to be considered a switch? Or would I be considered one because I am already playing both roles? What is your take on the subject?

My take?

A person doesn't have to switch back and forth at will to be considered a switch.

It's a very special partner that can switch with a switch. My pet, Nat, likes to put on his dom hat every now and then. We can switch in the middle of a session, or carry a play session all the way through in the same roles with which we began. Yet my hubby, T, is all dom all the time.

That you can take your roles into your relationship with your hubby and make it even better is fantastic.

A person is considered a switch if they enjoy both of the top/bottom roles. Again, they may find that they enjoy one role with one partner and the opposite role with another.

Call yourself what you want and have a great time. I find my "domming" Nat has helped me to be a better "sub" with T and vice versa.

Who's next?

[brklnswitch]

Hi all, just my two cents...

I agree with the others that you do not need to switch back and forth constantly to be a switch - or for that matter, be a switch if you're sometimes in one role, and sometimes in another. I think it's ultimately a personal choice whether you consider yourself a switch or not.

I definitely see myself as one: I started out feeling I was a bottom, and that's still the dominant (no pun intended) orientation. But, I have found that I have definite top tendencies as well, and these can switch on a moments notice. In fact my ideal partner would probably be similar to me, where we would take turns - if not in two consecutive sessions, every other one (I do you, you do me).

As long as you are comfortable in both roles - irrespective of how aften you switch, and with whom - I think you're a switch, unless of course, you don't see yourself that way

[Mistress Orchid]

LOL I dont know if I see myself that way or not. I have a HUGE tattoo on my lower back, a present from my last pet, that says "Mistress" on it. I feel most of the time that way. My mind is always thinking of how I would do things to my subs, even when I am submitting to my husband. However, I do enjoy the role with him. When he is tying me up, or binding me, it amazes me how relaxed I get. Ive never been able to relax like that, I usually panic.

Thanks for your responses, they have all given me alot to think about

[Warbaby1943]

Hi Everyone:

Novice I admit to and I only have one real life experience and that was one of a sub. However, she was so beautiful even at the time of being restrained, I was visualizing the opposite happening. Am I a switch? I hope so but that makes paying for sessions more difficult to find. Most professionals, at least around my area, are Dominant only.

I love these threads.

[Timberwolf]

Really old thread I know, but I just came across it.

People are much to concerned with figuring out what to label yourselves as. The bottom line is, you don't have to be *one thing all the time* just so you can stick a label on your profile.

I've straight-subbed to some and straight-Dom'd others - switching is no different than anything else, it has to work with the specific people involved. Just because you may be a switch doesn't mean your partner is too. With one person the role of sub may fit, with another the role of Dom. In some instnaces maybe both. But I don't feel these roles are nearly as concrete as some who feel the need to label everyone as either Dom, sub, or switch (save for those who truly cannot enjoy one role or the other... for reasons I honestly do have a hard time understanding personally).

To answer how would I truly define a switch, it would be as one who's not just capable of enjoying, but truly can understand and be comfortable in either role. I spent pretty much my first year in BDSM totally online and all of it as a sub, because it was exactly right for the person I was playing with for most of that time. Really, allowing my Dom side to come out is relatively recent. I wouldn't want to Dom the woman in question; it wouldn't have fit for us. But it was after I started exploring away from her, that I realized I had both sides of the coin in me. And the time I've been a sub is invaluable... I *know* what the desire of submission is. In intimate detail. It's hard to express how useful having that knwoledge has been in my Dom explorations since.