Orgasm on Demand

[Brosco]

I agree with others that the training starts with lots of teasing and then a "cum for me now" when success is very certain. To get to the point that 'cum for me now' will work anytime, it takes a lot of positive reinforcement, by setting up the situation for success, but slowly reducing the physical stimulation required to achieve it.

Regardless of personal tastes, this is one exercise that will not be taught with negative reinforcement = as in, punishment for not cumming. Each time during the training, the 'cum for me now' should only be issued when there is a high chance of success, and a 'failure' should quickly be minimised as just practise to a goal, and not a failure at all.

There will always be a mental block ("this will never happen with me"), and it is removing that block that is the key to success.

Small things like: "mmhhh you are already wet and I haven't even touched you" reinforce that arousal doesn't need physical contact. If a person can get wet from words alone, it isn't a quantum leap to get even hornier from more words and thus, not a big leap to eventually cum just from words.

Small steps like this reinforce in the mind that its possible and remove the mental block - and it will happen. How long that takes will vary with every individual. It may be days, weeks, months or even years, but it will happen if there is a patience and a positive attitude. And lets face it - there is lots of fun along the way, so the end goal is not urgent.

Someone here mentioned replacing 'cum for me now' with a trigger word like 'watermelon'. This can be fun for some, but I prefer to stay with the standard phrase because its so much easier to then introduce variations.

For example, phrases like:

Watermelon Now! (ok, that would work...)
but, it will be tuffer to:
"have lots of watermelons now"
"have a small watermelon now"
"have a big watermelon now"
"STOP that watermelom"

Anyway, fantassy4u has agreed to try this with me. She has agreed to report back here as we achieve milestones along the way (assuming that others are interested to hear) - but regardless of the success we have, we will have lots of fun along the way - and to me, that is the whole point.

Brosco

[submissivewife]

Hell yeah, we're interested in hearing how this goes....PLEASE keeps us informed.

[fantassy]

Brosco has instructed me to give a report on our 0 on Demand training. He's been working with me now for a little over two weeks.

You have to realize he started from ground zero with me. I have never done anything in the BDSM realm before and have led a rather conservative life sexually never even had a multiple orgasm. When not in a relationship, I might have averaged 2 O's a week from self-pleasure, but many weeks I skipped entirely.

I agreed to give Brosco complete control of my O's - no O's or even sexual touching without his say-so. He began by keeping me in a state of arousal as much as possible. First thing each morning, he has me do an exercise for ten minutes designed to arouse my body and mind for him.
Throughout my work day, he sends me messages to keep me aroused and squirming and focused on his control.

The first week of nights was spent getting my body accustomed to orgasming regularly. As Brosco says, he would tease and arouse me until he was 99% sure I was ready to O and then command me to cum for him, which I was delighted to do after being so aroused.

The second week Brosco gradually extended the periods of teasing before allowing me to cum. About half way into this second week after over 2 1/2 hours of teasing followed by a great orgasm, Brosco surprised me by saying, no, you're not done yet, don't stop now, I want another O from you." Amazingly I began building again and within minutes and another O even better than the first and then he demanded a 3rd. It was fantastic - like 3 lovely hills of sensation - all his doing since I didn't even know I could do it.

The next night was a similar situation except when we got to the 3rd O, it just didn't stop, I had just ripples of one blending into another, it was out of this world - they just continued until Brosco ordered me to stop cumming and they immediately stopped even though I was still being stimulated.

Of course, after these experiences, I am thrilled to let Brosco own my O's since he is doing a far better job with them than I ever managed on my own. To my credit, or so Brosco says, even though I've led a vanilla life, I had two characteristics which he believes helped to to make good progress. 1. I am truly content to enjoy the process of arousal for its own sake, not just in order to reach an O. 2. I'm very strong-willed and will not allow myself to fail or break a rule. Anyway, that is probably way more than you all wanted to know, but that is my status report.

fantassy

[submissivewife]

This is great. Keep up the details. I hope to learn more from you.

[Brosco]

fantassy,
I think that for the 'enquiring minds that want to know' - nopers, that was not too much detail at all. I hope that we continue to have success together and have even more to report... and yes, in such detail

For any that are viewing this to perhaps try this for themselves, I thought that after fantassy reports any of our milestones, I would also add a few comments of my own, which I hope my be useful or at least of interest.

As you should realise that at this time the arousal is achieved with aids, not just voice, and that the aids are still in use when I eventually command 'cum for me'. At this stage we are building the strength not to cum, no matter how aroused and how much on edge, plus reinforcing that cumming is associated with my command to do so. So it is a milestone that fantassy achieved her first multiple O's, plus finally, real multiples O's that just ran into each other and continued. This was obviously not because of continued stimulation, because the multiples stopped immediately I commanded also.

Just before we achieved the first multiple we did have one 'failure' that was my fault. I had given the usual command and fantassy failed to cum, so she kept trying harder and harder to 'make' herself obey. (I am sure that many have experience being on edge, but the harder they try to cum, the more they frustrate themselves). I had failed to explain a vital element here. With the order 'cum for me', the subbie should not try to 'help' by trying to achieve it quickly. All the subbie should do is remove her will to resist an O, and now ALLOW an O to happen. If it happens immediately - GREAT - but if it takes some time for the mindset to switch, that is fine, but the subbie's job is purely to change her mindset from blocking an O to allowing an O - let the Dom (and the aids) actually make it happen. I hope I explained that reasonably clearly, please feel free to ask if I didn't.

Brosco

[Nikita]

Brosco that was an awesome afterpost. It was clearly written and I can say that we've played using a similar method.

The key phrase you used was All the subbie should do is remove her will to resist an O, and now ALLOW an O to happen.

Your subbie is lucky! :

[fantazmaster]

Intetresting series of posts on this subject of orgasm on demand.Here is the link to an article from a fellow who wrote an article on achieving this type of training with a female subject.An intetresting "how it is done" article,but also I
appreciate the various cautions and warnings supplied by the author.

http://domsubfriends.com/voye/articles/100/

[Brosco]

There is a major difference here between what fantassy and I are doing and what was described in that article. First and foremost, what we are doing is fully consensual. Second, not only do I describe to fantassy exactly what I am doing and how I am achieving it, I have also described here for others to see along with fantassy. There is nothing devious, no deception. Sure, I use positive reinforcement as a tool, but I also can joke with fantassy to also remind her exacctly what I am doing.

The article you posted is nothing to do with a couple consensually working towards a goal - it is about one abusing another. Yes ... what fantassy and I do together consensually is abuse if one sided. To me that article was about rape of the mind.

The warnings about how a person can be raped become useless when provided by someone that clearly will rape another.

Brosco

[novus56]

On the subject of orgasm on demand. This was such an interesting thread. But unless I missed it, all those with experience of it seemed to relate it to females. Anyone know if the principle is applicable to male submissives as well? Just curious. ::grin

[Aesop]

On the subject of orgasm on demand. This was such an interesting thread. But unless I missed it, all those with experience of it seemed to relate it to females. Anyone know if the principle is applicable to male submissives as well? Just curious. ::grin

Good question. Anybody out there want to try that experiment?

[Brosco]

Although I don't know any males this has worked with, but it seems to me that it should be possible. It is the male that goes thru puberty with (hands-free) wet dreams.

And altho I don't know anyone else that this has happened to, but in my early teens I had a really weird hands free experience.

At school when sitting for a final exam, I looked at the test paper and my mind went blank. The whole paper meant nothing to me and I didn't even have a thought of a single answer. I panicked!!!!! and came in my pants!! After I recovered I looked at the paper again and I was fine ... except for having to sit thru the test with sticky jocks and a wet patch I had to hide when I left the room

On a self-hypnosis site (warpmymind.com) there are trances that claim to be able to induce orgasms in males.

While O-on-command does not require hypnosis, it is a very similar approach. Both require the mind to be open to suggestion and neither will work for everyone.

Brosco

[Brosco]

I received an email from a member here asking how to achieve 'full body Orgasms'. Unfortunately his profile prevents any emails being sent to him, so I was unable to directly reply. I figured it was a good question and worth posting here anyway, and hopefully he will see it here.

First off, most things to do with O-control are in the mind. The subbie needs to be able to open her mind to suggestion. By this I mean there needs to be a trusting relationship which will allow her to listen to what is being said and not analyze, reject or try to make things happen. She should just listen to the words and allow whatever happens to happen. Obviously, without the trust, the mind places barriers to protect itself from outside influences, and none of this will work if the barriers are up.

Providing your subbie allows herself to be susceptible to suggestion, you will be able to give her a full body Orgasm in reallife, or even over the phone. Any physical actions I describe can be done by the Dom or the subbie, the truly important part is the voice that creates suggestions for her mind. Like hypnotism, the best voice is a soft soothing, almost monotone, that is easy for the mind to listen to, almost subconsciously. Exclamations and varied speech jar the mind to be alert and interrupt the mindset.

The first step is to have your subbie very aroused, as close to the edge as possible without actually cumming. Whether you use a vibrator, your hands, her hands, etc. is irrelevant - use whatever works best for her. Now, while keeping her very aroused, you use your (or her) free hand to lightly run the finger tips over her body. In your soothing voice, explain how the energy from her arousal is flowing through the body and coming out wherever the finger tips lightly caress. Get her to actually feel the arousal wherever she is touched. It is best to start with the inner thighs because during arousal they are extremely sensitive, and so it truly will feel like part of the arousal is being transferred there. The nipples and breasts are also obviously good early targets, but with your continued soothing suggestions to her mind, you will be able to venture to all parts of her body. Keep reinforcing all the areas you have touched and 'transferred' the arousal to. "I have already made your thighs feel the arousal, and then your breasts, and now we will also move it to your arms". Etc., etc.

This light touching should extend for at least 20 minutes, while still keeping her as close to on edge as possible. After this time her whole body will feel 'alive'. Remember to keep talking to her all the time - because of the sensations she is feeling she probably will not respond much - in fact, if she does reply to you in anything other than a dreamy sorta voice, it means she is concentrating too hard on your words and hasn't achieved the mindset where she just opens her mind to your suggestions

Instead of the usual 'cum for me now', I would suggest a command more like "I want your whole body to cum for me now".

With practice at this, you will be able to 'touch' all of her body with just your words. "feel my fingers lightly brushing your thigh, feel the energy of the arousal flow thru my fingers and spread all through your thigh"

Eventually, like with cum-on-demand it won't take the 20 minutes, you will just be able to say: "feel the arousal in all parts of your body... and have your body cum for me now"

And hey - if it doesn't work for you, I am sure you both will still have a lot of fun practicing and trying

Now let’s discuss what really happened.

When deeply aroused all of the body does become more sensitive - all that you are doing is making your subbie more aware of it. Normally, the excitement of being on edge is too much for the mind to deal with and it concentrates on just one place - you are teaching her mind to feel the rest of her body also. By directing her thoughts to the other parts being touched, you are making it easier for her to stay closer to the edge. Because she has stayed on edge so long, her orgasm will be much more powerful, and so even if she doesn't feel it elsewhere, she will still love what you did.

Finally, understand there is no magic or devious tricks here. Allow your subbie to also read this so she knows exactly what you are doing and trying to achieve. Her mind will be more open to the suggestions if there are no surprises in your words.

And - don't expect this to all work on your first attempt. It takes practice. And even if it never works, it will still be extremely enjoyable. O-control is not about failures - it’s about practicing at getting better

Brosco

[VixeyandPhoenix]

Nice addition!

[Brosco]

Nice addition!

thank you

I do hope that you will try some of the ideas, or at least variations that work for you both. I would be delighted to hear back from others that had at least marginal success with my suggestions

Brosco

[Brosco]

OK, I accept that my posts are not as exciting as what fantasy is describing about what she is experiencing, but for the next few weeks she is working on her finals, and although I steal whatever time she has available, she hardly needs more typing to add to her 'leisure'. So until she has more time available, I will report the successes we have, even with the limited time. fantassy promises to update and correct my posts as soon as the pressure is off her.

OK, first understand that we are still using toys to get her on edge, the toy of choice (by both) is the Jack Rabbit. For those that don't know it, do a google search, for those that do, you know how powerful it is. It can get even the most unresponsive female to O in minutes.

Well. fantasy loves her arousal and is able to hold back cumming, she has succeeded at a full non-stop being held on edge for 30 minutes with Jack running on high!

From previous reports you know that fantassy also achieved multiple O's from our play, but after having a couple of big ones and more arousal to keep them going.

This time, fantassy on my command, not only had an ernormous O but managed to keep it cumming and cumming on the first O. The first just rolled into one many that was just prolonged explosions. We didn't count them, fantassy was way to preoccupied and I couldn't tell when one started and another finished. But an O usually lasts about 10 seconds, and I can assure you that fantassy kept O'ing for minutes. I promise next time we do this, since I can't count the O's, I will time how long they keep continuing instead - purely for scientific data collection reasons

Now comes the slightly crueller side of the training to date. Having taken fantassy from a single O gal, to one that can hardly stop them continuing, I ordered her to cum, but just one BIG O, and not allowed any of these ongoing rippling O's.

In O control, the sub must not help to achieve the O, she must just open her mind to allow them to happen, but to stop them takes enormous physical and mental strength. She needs to really want to stop what her mind and her body is demanding, and to do so, she needs to clench every muscle in her body (its a fantastic workout program .

I think at the time fantassy was ready to kill me, she knew all these wonderful multiples were about to continue, but I denied her, she had to stop a pleasure that had taken control of her body and was already rippling thru her body.

fantassy had 1 big O and managed to stop more from cumming after just a couple of small ones snuck thru. It was a fantastic effort so I didn't punish fantasy for the extras she managed, but she knows she will be given more practice at this to just have the one, no matter how many are straining to get out

Brosco

[submissivewife]

I feel the poor girls frustration. First you encourage me to orgasm then you tell me to stop? poor thing. I know I wouldn't like that to well either. Talk about frustration.

This is all so facinating. I always look forward to the reports. Thanks you two.

[Brosco]

I feel the poor girls frustration. First you encourage me to orgasm then you tell me to stop? poor thing. I know I wouldn't like that to well either. Talk about frustration.

This is all so facinating. I always look forward to the reports. Thanks you two.

Very true sub'wife, but its not really being mean. Its about control that another wants you to have. lets face it, fantassy could have easily said "to hell with you.. I'm gonna cum all I like" and there is not a damn thing I could have done about it. But she is exploring this with me because she wants to experience that control, and if giving me control of something that was easy, what would that really do?

fantassy loves the challenge and gets a high from success, and while it may be a little strange to her at the moment, the high from a success can be right up there with the high she might have achieved from the O.

Brosco

[submissivewife]

Ohh I agree Brosco, just feel her frustration is all. I know when I get praise from Daddy, for something I have acheived or please him with, the high off that is really very wonderful.

Thanks for keeping us up-to-date.

[Brosco]

Damn. i forgot to turn on the stopwatch, but it was definitely minutes of O's A couple of times she almost stopped, but when I commanded her that I wanted more, her body reacted and provided what I wanted.

[submissivewife]

Don't worry Brosco, sometimes watching can be occupying. Please, if you will, remember next time; or else .....LOL

[fantassy]

All I can say is they seemed to go on forever. Every time they were about to die down Brosco ordered them to keep going. It was exhausting, but good.

Fantassy

[submissivewife]

fantassy, its great to hear from you and your experiences. This has been great to read all that you have been learning. Hope to continue to learn more.

subwife

[Ozme52]

Damn. i forgot to turn on the stopwatch, but it was definitely minutes of O's A couple of times she almost stopped, but when I commanded her that I wanted more, her body reacted and provided what I wanted.

Damn Brosco... Now the experiment is ruined.... You're just gonna have to do that one again!!

[submissivewife]

Damn Brosco... Now the experiment is ruined.... You're just gonna have to do that one again!!

Poor fantasy....I'm sure she'll enjoy anyway. LOL

[perfectlittleslave]

I can hold themfor long periods but when given the command as hard as I try I can not do it right away. It usually takes a few seconds because of holding it so long. Is this a problem with other subs or what? My Dom is patient and is willing to teach but I am getting frustrated. Can anyone help in this?

[Ozme52]

Brosco seems to be da man when it comes to answering that question... and the concensus opinion is that you become tense in anticipation of the command.

You need to be able to relax so that it can wash over you.

There are a number of techniques... and Brosco knows them all.

Oz whispers to self: why am I suddenly advertising for Brosco. LOL

[Brosco]

hiii perfectlilslave,

First let me preface this with that fantassy and I discussed your post and so this response is coming from both of us ... I am sure you understand that with her finals just 2 weeks away, she doesn't need too much extra typing so her Dom is being her secretary

First there is your initial statement that I did address in earlier posts:

but when given the command as hard as I try I can not do it right away

Don't try!!! Your job is purely to change your mindset from not cumming to allowing it to cum, do not try to make it happen, you have a big enough task with changing your mindset.

Fantasy made 2 points that sorta go hand in hand. First, when I do tease her and keep her on edge, it is not just for a few minutes, but will be at least 1/2 an hour and usually much more of constant arousal that she must fight, so when given the command, she is well and truly desperate to cum.

More importantly though, she explained how the really desperate edge comes in waves. Even though she would be happy to cum just about any time during the teasing, their are waves that are far more insistant than other times. During these 'waves' she needs to fight her hardest not to cum. I detect these waves by listening to her changing in breathing and hearing the 'whimpers' that come at this time. It is not that she isn't on edge at the other times, but its possible to detect when she is fighting the hardest. It is only during these peaks that I command her to cum, and so it takes very little for her to switch her mindset and cum (almost) immediately.

Even if these aren't the issues effecting you, please do not be frustrated. The harder you try to make this happen, the less likely it will happen. The command to 'cum for me' should mean no more than 'stop resisting' and just allow it to happen. This may take some practice, particularly if you have been doing this for a while, but with you relaxing and not helping, plus your Dom being able to pick one of those waves, you will have remarkable success

Brosco

[Brosco]

Brosco seems to be da man when it comes to answering that question... and the concensus opinion is that you become tense in anticipation of the command.

You need to be able to relax so that it can wash over you.

There are a number of techniques... and Brosco knows them all.

Oz whispers to self: why am I suddenly advertising for Brosco. LOL

<---- aaahhh geeee shucks, looks down and shuffles his feet and tries to hide a blush

Ozme: you answered it while I was typing my reply, I am just longwinded and like the sound of my own voice

Brosco

[Brosco]

Damn Brosco... Now the experiment is ruined.... You're just gonna have to do that one again!!

Yeah, and no one appreciates the hassles us Doms go through. Here I was already to start on giving her Nogasms, but have to stay at giving her Orgasms in the interest of scientific research

You may not believe this (well, I guess you would I actually downloaded a computer stopwatch program to be sure I got this right Tonight, apart from her pressures at college she was also a bit down from a virus - maybe the flu, so we were gentle She only managed 3.5mins of O's!!! I told her about the stopwatch and thought I would be laffed at for being a silly male, instead she insisted that she was sure it was double that last night!!!

Now lets see, the first Big O may be more than 10 seconds, but all those rippling multiples after that run into each other don't even last that long. You do the math, and I assure you fantassy aint complaining

Brosco

[submissivewife]

On the waves of finding it hard to cum, I noticed that when I am so ready and denied my orgasm, this only intensifies my need to orgasm. Is there an explaination for that?

I have always marveled, when denied, how much being told NO nearly sends me over the edge. So, am I crazy or what?