submission Defined

[butterflySlave4u]

i am butterfly, once owned by UnleashedPassion...He has seen fit to walk away from me...and i don't know why, i was not owed an explanation...i discovered my submissive nature late in life, only a few years ago, when He found me online in a chatroom, and helped me define myself...see myself more clearly than i ever had...to that end, i wrote this, for Him....smiles....it made Him cry...

Sitting in the silence of the night with only the sound of the rain to echo through her mind, she begins to think back over how she arrived at this place. Not the physical place where she exists but the place where her heart and soul dwell. The place that tells her she is unlike the others. The place that lets her know that not only does she not fit in their world, she does not wish to fit there. How did this happen and at what point did it become a place from which she could never return? When did her heart and her mind no longer desire to be "normal" and "free" and all the other things that the "world" said she should want?
A soft sigh escapes her lips as she closes her eyes and tries to focus inward. Was it the first time she was physically punished? Was it the first time she served Him, that He knew how to move her to do His will with nothing more than a glance or a word? Was it earlier than that? Later?
Trying to piece together the fragmented memories of her life, she begins to realize when this came about. A sudden gasp escapes her lips when the answer shows itself to her. Everyday. It happened today. And it will happen tomorrow. The whirlwind that her mind creates with that understanding begins to toss every thought to and fro as she continues to try and understand what that means. She knew long before today what she was. She knew long before today what she longed for and desired. She knew what she craved and needed to complete her. Why then would the answer be "today"? Turning this day over in her mind, she begins to slowly understand what was different and that "today" was the right answer. The times that thrill her mind and spirit as her body aches, the bondage and the submissive nature are things she had embraced long ago. All of that was just the knowledge of what she was looking for. Only this day does she understand what that knowledge was about.
She leans back against the hard, cool ground and becomes lost in the sound of the water splashing against the earth as her mind continues to piece together what her soul is screaming. Today is not the first time she has burned, that deep belly burn that begins low and moves over the entire body as if to engulf the entire being. No, she has felt that before. She has even felt it with Him before. He has always touched that place in her, the one that makes her unable to deny Him anything He wishes or desires. He has always been able to make her heart race and her body respond in ways that no one else could. He can with just a "hello" turn her from an intelligent, thought-provoking woman to a wanton sex starved slut that needs nothing but his release. One word or glance from Him sends her running in whatever direction He wishes, not out of fear but out of need. The need to please Him. The need to make Him happy and proud of who and what she is. The need to be who she is and still be what He wishes. It has been that way with him since they met, but today something changed inside her.
Her body shakes as the realization begins to unfold in her head why today was unlike every other day before. Today she not only allowed and enjoyed each moment but she also gave up. She gave up fighting for it to be any other way. She gave up the idea that if she waited long enough and fought hard enough she would cease being His. She gave up the idea that somewhere out there more was waiting for her. She gave up the illusion that somehow she would be happier, better, more complete with another Person that could offer her everything she needed. Today she realized that He has what she needs. She gave up the idea that she can choose her path better than He can. He owns her; pure and simple. If she wishes to be who she is, it is only by being His that she can have that. He owns what she gave to Him long ago. She can no more "cease being His" than she can cease breathing air and living. A soft laugh escapes her lips as she hears those words in her head..."cease being His". Somehow, she had still believed that no matter how much He could move her, touch her, lead her, excite her, seduce her, she still had no choice but to keep part of herself from Him. The part she finds so amusing is that she no longer owns any of herself anyway. She had ceased having anything that He could not have long ago. Only the acknowledgment of what belonged to Him was left to be given. The only thing she held on to was the "idea" that she was anything more than He allowed her to be. The only thing she had until today was the ability to "deny" the knowledge of the truth.
She had been His since He accepted the gift and responsibility of her. He had allowed her to run, hide, beg, need, demand, desire, crave and run again as He sat back and waited for her to finally accept her place in life. He had stayed near enough to protect what was His, all the while allowing her to look for what was already before her. Just thinking of Him now, her belly begins to burn. It is the burn of a slave that is owned, the burn of a slave that has nothing more than what is given to her by One that has complete control over every crack and crevice of her being. IT is the ache in the cunt that can not be cooled no matter how often or how seldom she is used. If He desires her, the burn moves so swiftly that the moistness is not only felt but smelled by anyone near her.
Today, when He talked to her, it began as many days have since she ran from Him so many months ago. He came, she felt. He touched, she responded. She could not lie to Him even though she can easily lie to herself. In that instant she had to face everything she had run from. She had to admit that which she had feared for so long. Yes, she was before and is now completely His, no matter who He allows her to go to or gives her to. Even if He were to abandon her, she would still belong completely to Him.
The moment that her mind accepted what her heart knew, the burn took on a different feel. The ache grew to something that engulfed her from the tip of her toes to the top of her head. Once she felt the sheer joy and understanding of her place, the desire to run was no longer there, once she understood that whether in pain or pleasure, joy or sorrow, fear or peace she would belong completely to the One that owned what she had given to Him.
Only He can make her feel the peace that floods her when He allows her to be free in the idea of what and who she is. She is His, His toy, His slut, His whore, His friend, His possession and His slave. Finally she understands that completeness only comes with the One that has the key to her needs, desires, wants and pleasures. Freedom only comes when she allows herself to be completely content in her lot in life. Maybe some people can find happiness in the freedom to make decisions and choices for their lives. She knows where her true pleasure and happiness come from. It comes from feeling the freedom of completely being owned, collared. The freedom that is found in the cage He has placed around her soul; the freedom that comes as her body explodes with the desire that He can bring her just by saying "Cum, Angel". The freedom that comes from not having to hide the fact that she wishes nothing more than to be taken by Him, pleasured by Him, hurt by Him, moved by Him, praised by Him and corrected by Him; the freedom that comes from admitting that she is nothing more or less than what He desires and commands her to be. She is His slave. He is her Master.
Somewhere in the distance she hears her name being called. Her heart pounds as she quickly rises to her feet, hearing His voice calling for what is His. The burn is now almost unbearable as she races toward the direction of His voice, her breathing hard as she moves closer to Him. Her smile comes from deep within because once more she knows that she will be complete for one more moment in time, complete in the knowledge that her only freedom is in her total surrender to Him, her total surrender to who she is, her total surrender to her slavery.

Lifting her eyes as her heart begins to soar with the peace that comes with acceptance, she whispers softly as she kneels before Him.

"Your Angel is here, Master. What is your desire?"

[Wind_Walker25]

Very good! I am at a lost for words to even try and say how good this is.

[butterflySlave4u]

smiles...thank You, Sir...i tend to write much more eloquently than i speak...

[Wind_Walker25]

Your writing is beautiful!

[butterflySlave4u]

i'm honored You think so, Sir....

[gagged_Louise]

Very nice outpouring from one slave's heart. I have been there too, many of us have.

[butterflySlave4u]

Thank you, miss....I appreciate your acknowledgement...

[Cool Luke's Hand]

Paragraphs. They are not your enemy, in the same way ellipses are not full stops. You probably didn't post this looking for criticism, but a full screen and a half of text does not make for a good read.

[butterflySlave4u]

Paragraphs. They are not your enemy, in the same way ellipses are not full stops. You probably didn't post this looking for criticism, but a full screen and a half of text does not make for a good read.

Thank you for the observation....and no, i didn't post it looking for criticism...i'll post no more, so as not to offend you...

[Sir_Russell]

butterflySlave4u
Look don't take what a newcomer probably wannabee posts as anything to take to heart. Few of us are polished authors and when I read something from him that is worth any thought then he can tell us how to write.

As far as what I understand your former Dom left without an explanation. I find that to be inexcusable, you offered him service and he accepted it, at that point he does owe you to be careful and thoughtful in his actions toward you.

I have sent sub/slaves away but all ways with a why, that isn't all ways easy but it is all ways right.

[Wind_Walker25]

I may not be the smartest Guy in here, but I know what Good is, and what you wrote is wonderful, and I enjoyed reading this post more then ones!

[Cool Luke's Hand]

butterflySlave4u
Look don't take what a newcomer probably wannabee posts as anything to take to heart. Few of us are polished authors and when I read something from him that is worth any thought then he can tell us how to write.

You cannot seriously be saying that one solid paragraph of text is easy to read. It's either that or you just felt like taking a shot at me, so draw your own conclusions, but there's a reason teachers mark essays that don't use paragraphs badly. I mean, I'm the first to admit I'm not a polished author by any standard, but when you next get the chance, please, find me some published authors who don't use paragraphs or full spots.

[Tojo]

butterflySlave4u
Look don't take what a newcomer probably wannabee posts as anything to take to heart. Few of us are polished authors and when I read something from him that is worth any thought then he can tell us how to write.

LMAO!

Butterfly you were owed an explanation from your Dom- you just weren't given one. That's inexcusable IMO. I hope he finds it in his heart to get back to you with that- assuming he has a heart in the first place...

Sorry to hear this, you sound like a helluva nice girl.

All the best for the future, & please do write more. I'm sure Luke was just having a bad day & deeply regrets his choice of words.

[~faerie~]

I thought that what you wrote was beautiful. Don't let any one tell you otherwise. It was truly heartfelt.

And yes your Dom should have given you some sort of explanation. You gave everything to him, he at least owes you that. No matter what terms you part on. Just mho.

Hugs!

[neitsyst2]

Butterfly your writing is lovely. I wish I could express myself as eloquently as you have. Please consider that your writing has truly touched me and will help me to express my own thoughs...paragraphs or none...and to that end I hope you will continue to share your thoughts.

While it is not my place to comment on your prior Dom...I hope that you don't mind hearing that an intelligent, kind, gentle soul deserves all the best and will find her way there, even if it is the long way around.

My best to you,
nei

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

Thank you for your lovely writing, butterflyslave. You are not alone. Many of us here, myself included, have been left high and dry by a "Master" we thought cared for us and loved us as much as we cared for and loved Them. I am sorry that this happened to you as well.

[Pertez]

I love it thank you

[Alex Bragi]

I’m sorry butterflyslave4u but in Luke’s Cool Hand’s defence, I agree, this would be a much better and easier read if it was broken into paragraphs and fully punctuated.

I realise this isn’t the sub forum for writers’ feedback, however since you chose to write your piece in a second person story style I think it’s only fair that people will assume it’s been written as story regardless of whether it’s fact or fiction, or where you've posted it, and many of their comments have/will reflect this.

When we write/create something—especially in such a heartfelt way, it’s lovely to receive positive and encouraging feedback. All authors, on all levels, receive criticism at some time. It’s part and parcel of writing. Especially when it’s intended to be constructive—as I believe it was here—my advice is read it, learn from it, and then move on.

And, do keep writing.

[Lion]

I'm sorry for what happened. And like Alex said, I think Luke just wanted to mention it so it's easier to read, and hopefully, in a short time, we will be able to read a story of you meeting up with a proper dom who doesn't abandon you and truely cares.

[butterflySlave4u]

I’m sorry butterflyslave4u but in Luke’s Cool Hand’s defence, I agree, this would be a much better and easier read if it was broken into paragraphs and fully punctuated.

I realise this isn’t the sub forum for writers’ feedback, however since you chose to write your piece in a second person story style I think it’s only fair that people will assume it’s been written as story regardless of whether it’s fact or fiction, or where you've posted it, and many of their comments have/will reflect this.

When we write/create something—especially in such a heartfelt way, it’s lovely to receive positive and encouraging feedback. All authors, on all levels, receive criticism at some time. It’s part and parcel of writing. Especially when it’s intended to be constructive—as I believe it was here—my advice is read it, learn from it, and then move on.

And, do keep writing.

i suppose it was the spirit in which Luke offered up his critique that i objected to, miss....thank you for reading....

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

Butterfly, your writing was beautiful. It is the content that truly touched me, nevermind how it was written. i look forward to reading more.

i am truly sorry that you had the experience that you did with your Dom, but with a heart like yours (which was very brave of you to share with all of us), you will find another that will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Thanks again

[SirMcDoogle]

What should be taken into consideration is the pure talent this lovely woman has for writing, that unlike most is able ot express her emotions through words.

Lion, What you said was vaild, Yes there should be paragraphs however, when you are writing something based on emotions you tend to leave out Punctuation and Grammer etc, and simply say what comes out. So she didnt edit this first?
Who cares?

Prehaps a comment on what you thought of the actually story not the lay out might help ease the concious of this wonderful women of whom i have had the pleasure several times and has corrected myself on all forms of spelling and grammer.

May i just say thank you to all (Esp, Sir Russell and Shy Green Eyed Grl) for jumping in so quickly and offering your support for this talented women


*Bows* That is all....Dismissed (:P)

[Cool Luke's Hand]

With all due respect, the lot of you criticising me are idiots for doing it. When I can't get through a piece of writing because my eyes start to hurt halfway through, then it's a BAD PIECE, and spewing out praise like gibbering monkeys does nothing to help anybody, the author least of all. And Sir Russell, in particular, is the biggest of the lot for being under some insane impression that it's not right to criticise something without making a piece of work yourself; it's a mindset somewhat undermined by the existence of film critics, literature critics, game critics, music critics and, indeed, everything with the word "critics" following it.

Prehaps a comment on what you thought of the actually story not the lay out might help ease the concious of this wonderful women of whom i have had the pleasure several times and has corrected myself on all forms of spelling and grammer.

I am not here to "ease her conscience/conscious", whichever word it was you were going for. Nor am I going to pull any punches, and I'm especially not going to gush with praise about a piece of writing that isn't worth it.

[butterflySlave4u]

What should be taken into consideration is the pure talent this lovely woman has for writing, that unlike most is able ot express her emotions through words.

Lion, What you said was vaild, Yes there should be paragraphs however, when you are writing something based on emotions you tend to leave out Punctuation and Grammer etc, and simply say what comes out. So she didnt edit this first?
Who cares?

Prehaps a comment on what you thought of the actually story not the lay out might help ease the concious of this wonderful women of whom i have had the pleasure several times and has corrected myself on all forms of spelling and grammer.

May i just say thank you to all (Esp, Sir Russell and Shy Green Eyed Grl) for jumping in so quickly and offering your support for this talented women


*Bows* That is all....Dismissed (:P)

smiles...ty....

[Alex Bragi]

Just a reminder, all contructive comments are welcome here and that most certainly includes any 'newcomer', however I think it's time to steer this thread back to it's original topic--specifically butterfly4u's rather sad situation.

L'sCH, you've made you point--and in my opinion a valid one, however I can't see any benefit to anyone in labouring it. There are literally thousands of authors on this site wanting constructive feedback and debate on writing styles and methods--so, please, leave this one be.

[Logic1]

Sad and really beautifully written.
Nobody should leave without letting their partner know why. That is just plain wrong.
Hope you can find closeure for yourself so that you can move on easier.

[sidhewolf]

A Lovely Heartfelt piece Butterfly. Easy to read and understand, for me anyways. Thank You for sharing your Heart and Spirit with All of Us. May you find someone worthy of your Gifts.

As for any who would critique your writing, I echo Sir Russels wise words, and Thank Him for them. Nobody is perfect, no matter Who. Most PPL do the best They Can I think. And you have done very well in communicating your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Thank You Butterfly for sharing. And Please don't stop.

<Huggs>

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[gemmy]

Thank you for the observation....and no, i didn't post it looking for criticism...i'll post no more, so as not to offend you...

Post to your heart's content hun - it is beautiful and from within - whether anyone finds the read 'easy' or not is Their problem, not yours, you did not write it for them *winks*

Well done and thank you for sharing your lovely words *smiles*

[subbie_kmm]

I was very touched and moved by your words your feelings it was simply Beautifull beyond words i could describe thankyou for the share ((Huggs)))

[newslave]

Beautiful, Butterfly. Pure poetry...thank you for this all-to-honest tale of your life.