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Thread: What Is A Munch

  1. #1
    I am who I am
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    What Is A Munch

    There has been a lot of talk around recently about munches so I have put a guide together to explain what a munch is, how to organise one and the guidelines you should follow to ensure that the event goes off as intended whilst ensuring everyone's safety & privacy.



    What's a Munch?
    **************

    A munch is a social gathering held in a bar or function room where people can get together to put faces to names and where newbies can ask questions of the more experienced lifestylers. Typically it is a 'no play' evening as the venue will not allow public displays of sexual activity or lewdness but there are always 'Afters Parties' somewhere or you can visit a local club or party back in your hotel with people who have taken your fancy.

    You'll find organised BDSM Munches in your local area via the search engines. Usually they are organised by one or two people who are well known members of the community in your area. The venue is kept secret between the organisers and those who have been invited both before and after the event. Organisers will usually only give out the exact location information to those who are invited just a few days before the event.

    Getting an invite most likely involves getting registered on the forum and PMing to the organiser asking to be invited, or by being vetted by someone you know who attends - it's that simple.

    A Munch is open to all - couples, singles, Gay, Bi, CDs, etc., there are no limits. .

    Munches are a great way to finally meet all those people you've did know exsisted - and then who knows where it might lead!

    Dress Code:
    **********

    Come as you dare, basically. In some cases where the venue owners may not be aware that we are lifestylers or if we only have part of the venue available to us and members of the public may be in the vicinity of the munch you may be asked to tone down your dress code. It's a common sense approach and we're all adult enough to act accordingly.


    Fancy organising a Munch?
    **********************

    Firstly, does anyone in the lifestyle in your area know you? You will have to be known as an active member in the lifestyle before people can trust you to organise a Munch properly. Remember, people travel all over the country to attend these and spend a lot on travel and hotel costs. They won't do that to attend yours if you are not known. Also, you should be a good organiser and make sure you have enough spare time to do it properly.

    Where will I hold it?
    ****************

    The Munch needs to be held in a private function room, or separate bar area of somewhere like a pub or social club. It should have its own bar area, and be separate from the 'general public' bar, preferably with its own toilets, and area for disco and buffet (if you chose to put a buffet on). Perhaps consider trying to persuade the landlord to close the pub to the general public and fill the place with us! Whatever you do, the idea is to separate as far as possible your member guests from the general public.

    Security and Discretion
    *******************

    You should take into account members' security and discretion when choosing the people to provide the disco and control of access. Many very successful Munches have had these services provided by people they know personally.

    How do I get this started?
    *********************

    Having found a suitable venue, explain to the owner what you hope to do and discuss things like buffets, DJs, control of access, disabled access and private party status. Does the owner know about BDSM? If he/she does, then be open with them about who will be attending. If not, perhaps book it as a birthday party.

    Is there a cost involved?
    ********************

    We all love a freebie, but you may incur costs for buffets, DJs, hire of the room, door/bar staff, etc. Most munches are free but However, we don't expect you to be out of pocket either! Don't just think of a number and say you'll keep the balance or give it to a charity. Work out costs per head. In the past it's been OK to 'pass a hat round' as the only source of income for the night, to put towards the cost of bar/door staff or the DJ. OK, but don't do it several times during the night for each category. Once and once only.
    The last time I helped organize a munch we did a raffle in the evening to help cover costs... and all the raffle prizes were donated LOL

    Afters Parties
    ***********

    Any Munch organised for BDSMer's who occasionally like to 'play' with each other, although this is not what Munches are about, they are just for meeting people in a relaxed, no pressure environment. So, while it's perfectly reasonable that people might want to arrange for something else to happen afterwards, this is not to be part of the Munch and must not be arranged in the same thread as the Munch - nor can the separate threads be hyper-linked to each other. Any afters party will most likely be private, and therefore entrance is not guaranteed and groups can be restricted. There may be an entrance fee involved and it may be held in a club, which newbies may not feel comfortable about. A Munch and any afters parties that may be organised are totally different to each other by their very nature and intent, which is why we want to keep an element of separation between the two on the site also. Munches should not just be treated as 'feeders' to afters parties!

    Who do I allow to go?
    ******************

    Rule of thumb is regular and current members of the community. As mentioned earlier about newbies, as long as they have been vetted by another member or have personally contacted the organizer then there is generally no problems.... we were all new once smiles. As the organiser, you decide your 'cut-off' date for the munch and you will need to keep within the capacity limit of the venue After all, as we said above, Munches give the newer members a chance to meet and ask questions of more experienced members in a relaxed and neutral environment.




    **********


    My local munch is every 1st sunday of every month and is held in the local Wetherspoons pub between the hours of 1pm and 5pm. what happens afterwards is up to you. we also have a kinks evening at the local gay club every 4th monday where there is a guest speaker and demostrations (i think last months one was a demo and safety with the violet wand).
    There is also a "dungeon master/mistress" to greet you at the door and to make sure that you have been vetted etc and is also on hand to make sure that everyone is safe and is ok. They act like a kind of bouncer lolol.

    I hope this helps

    cg
    "Knowledge is the power of the mind,
    wisdom is the power of the soul."
    *Pain is only the evil leaving the body*

    Proud sister to angel{HM} and lizeskimo
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  2. #2
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    thankyou for the info,crazygrrl

    i originally posted a reply but deleted it,it didnt seem applicable lol
    Last edited by icey; 04-05-2008 at 04:36 AM. Reason: post inapplicable

  3. #3
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    ...
    Last edited by jeanne; 04-05-2008 at 03:32 AM. Reason: Should be in another thread
    Working too much....and unfortunately not online as much as I'd like.

  4. #4
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    ty cg!! *hugs*

  5. #5
    Banned
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    thanks cg - do you mind if I lift your write-up on munches? You say it very well - and I know a few people elsewhere who would appreciate the information - but who are not prepared to join the library - I'll ascribe it to you of course!

  6. #6
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    A good write up though I do have to add that most of the munches in this area (west midlands) do not keep the venue secret and tend to use the same venue all the time. IN fact they often have signs telling people where the room the munch is in hanging up in the pub main area. They usually post details to open BDSM mailing lists before each one as well so it only goes to kinksters but the invite is still open.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whippett View Post
    thanks cg - do you mind if I lift your write-up on munches? You say it very well - and I know a few people elsewhere who would appreciate the information - but who are not prepared to join the library - I'll ascribe it to you of course!
    sure help yourself... smiles.


    cg
    "Knowledge is the power of the mind,
    wisdom is the power of the soul."
    *Pain is only the evil leaving the body*

    Proud sister to angel{HM} and lizeskimo
    Forum Goddess (26/07/07)
    Double Goddess (05/09/07)
    Triple Goddess (02/06/08)

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by fetishdj View Post
    A good write up though I do have to add that most of the munches in this area (west midlands) do not keep the venue secret and tend to use the same venue all the time. IN fact they often have signs telling people where the room the munch is in hanging up in the pub main area. They usually post details to open BDSM mailing lists before each one as well so it only goes to kinksters but the invite is still open.
    Most places you have a munch in are normally ok with whatever happens in their function rooms... as long as they are informed 1st.

    the last munch I organized in Leicester the landlord had closed his doors to the public for the evening and afterward actually invited us back!!! said him and his staff hadnt had that much fun on a sat night for ages!!

    as you say... most munches are advertised via listings and forums... I get a load from the midlands right thru to bedfordshire etc etc also I know whats what and which club is best and am kept in the know about what demos are being done that month.

    cg
    "Knowledge is the power of the mind,
    wisdom is the power of the soul."
    *Pain is only the evil leaving the body*

    Proud sister to angel{HM} and lizeskimo
    Forum Goddess (26/07/07)
    Double Goddess (05/09/07)
    Triple Goddess (02/06/08)

  9. #9
    ~wiggle wiggle~ xo
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    Great work and organization hun! Thankiies
    ~wiggle wiggle~ xo

  10. #10
    Kinkstaah
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    great
    thanx CG
    Sir to my girl.
    Daddy

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy_grrluk View Post
    Most places you have a munch in are normally ok with whatever happens in their function rooms... as long as they are informed 1st.

    the last munch I organized in Leicester the landlord had closed his doors to the public for the evening and afterward actually invited us back!!! said him and his staff hadnt had that much fun on a sat night for ages!!

    as you say... most munches are advertised via listings and forums... I get a load from the midlands right thru to bedfordshire etc etc also I know whats what and which club is best and am kept in the know about what demos are being done that month.

    cg

    We are probably on some of the same lists then...

    Run well a decent munch (like a good web forum) can strengthen the links of friendship between like minded individuals. Run badly they can highlight the bad stereotypes.

  12. #12
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    Munches I've been to in the US seem a lot less formal.

    The intent is the same, to greet newcomers and make people in general feel welcome in a no-pressure environment.

    We tend to meet in restaurants, there is very little overt lifestyling, clothing wise, furnishings (e.g., paddles or whips) or protocols. Even the conversations tend to be only mildly risque. Certainly no demos. Occassionally, we'll plan a demo or a speaker, and in those cases we will find a function room. We do that maybe twice a year on an irregular basis.

    Some groups have open meetings with a regularly announced site, but some groups screen new members to make sure they're not merely "predator" types in search of the unaware. And that ensures they don't just keep showing up, which in turn makes most of the newcomers just that little bit more comfortable.

    Bottom line... munches are a place to comfortably meet like-minded people without the pressures that jumping into a play party are likely to produce.

    Just a slightly different perspective.
    The Wizard of Ahhhhhhhs



    Chief Magistrate - Emerald City

  13. #13
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    http://www.drkdesyre.com/munchfaq.html
    is a good site for info and has contact info for most states and some foriegn countries.
    If ye be so inclined.
    Mad Lews
    English does not borrow from other languages. English follows other languages into dark alleys, raps them over the head with a cudgel, then goes through their pockets for loose vocabulary and spare grammar.

  14. #14
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    A wealth of information there cg. Thank you
    WB

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