help with making rules

[Polaris]

Learning to control will take time and I'm sure you will find out that over time you will make sure that she cums before you give premission because it is always a good reason for punishment.

I love it when Sir Daddy won't stop knowing I can't hold it any longer, I get to cum and I know I'm getting a spanking and the night is still young I'm going to still get to cum again later with him.

babygirl

Great if that works for you, but I'd like to throw in a word of caution there. I for my part would feel very bad -- betrayed even -- if he forced the issue and I got punished later for simply not being able to hold it back...well, it would be devastating for me. Same applies for everything that is simply something I can't do. I like my tasks to remain in the realm of achievable. He doesn't need a reason to spank me, or inflict on me whatever he chooses to (within our agreed limits, that is), but to punish me -- seriously punish me -- I would have had to mess up somewhere. And this is something I try to avoid...simply because punishment. just. isn't. any. fun.

As far as the original question is concerned, I agree -- it takes some practice and getting used to (as does actually having to ask, grumble). For me, there is no real trick to it. It's all about wanting to hold it in...or more importantly, do what pleases him. The rest is just tensing my muscles and thinking "nononononononononononono, oh please nonono, not yeeeeeeet". That's probably not very useful, but it works for me (surprisingly, quite reliably).

[Ozme52]

For us, she knows I don't condone it... and she knows I like forcing her to cum without permission because it proves I have more control over her body than she does.

But it is not a punishment-worthy offense... and won't be until the day she doesn't try to resist with all her will.

Besides... if I didn't have that kind of control, I wouldn't be able to make her cum untouched with just my verbal command. She's very responsive.

[BBWdehumanizingyou]

As the others have said, keep in mind what your sub and you have discussed, also it may help to spend the time writing out on your own what may benefit the submissive to do better for her/himself within inner growth. I also advise to make the rules simple when first developing them so comprehension is easier and that no one gets confused, over time as the growth grows within the submissive to make them become more complex.

Hopefully this advice helps as well

[Dea Menrfa]

This was a fabulous discussion, thank you!

Polaris - you bring up an excellent point. What is good for one couple, can be devastating for another. Communication is obviously very important.

I will be directing one of my potential subs to this forum, as we are laying the groundwork now for a potential future collaring. This one I will do right... this one matters.

[jeanne]

For us, she knows I don't condone it... and she knows I like forcing her to cum without permission because it proves I have more control over her body than she does.

But it is not a punishment-worthy offense... and won't be until the day she doesn't try to resist with all her will.

Besides... if I didn't have that kind of control, I wouldn't be able to make her cum untouched with just my verbal command. She's very responsive.

and