Where Are You??

[Dom Isaac]

Why does hardly anybody here say where they're from on their about me?? Most of you are already using made up names and not posting your pic. So why not say where you are? It could make it easier to connect with others in your area!

[thrall]

safety......p.lain and simple.....

If you want to hook with someone.........ask. There are many hook up sites that sort by zip code.......this is not one of them

[Dom Isaac]

Sorry thrall, I think you may have misunderstood my reason for asking such a question. Its not about trying to hook up with someone, I just think that alot of people here might want to meet others in their own area to talk to and share with.

Also if I post a fake name and no picture, even if someone knows what country I reside in, they're never gonna find me. So safety isnt even an issue.

[yourlilslave86]

This is an internet site first and foremost....I posted that I live in Ohio because yes indeed I do live in Ohio but very few know where exactly in Ohio. Normally when I tell someone its near so and so. Unless they trace my ISP they aren;t going to know where exactly in Ohio I am.

Safety online is a BIG factor. You have no clue if someone is a hacker or a serial killer or rapist, etc. Not say ing that anyone here is those things but you never know.

I know that collarme is a place if you want to meet locals.

[thepast]

A lot of folks choose to stay completely anonymous with respect to location here--that's their choice, of course...

Now, could most people put in "eastern US" or "western canada" or "UK"?? Sure thing, they could. I am not saying ANYONE should put in "I live on Kinky st, in the small town of kinksville, in western MD." NO... but what I am saying is that I understand what you're saying, Dom Issac, and yeah, people could put a geographic identifier w/o being too specific.

People choose not to say anything, and yeah, that's their choice. It's a public site, yes, so you need to take precautions... On the other hand, geographic identifiers are general enough no one is really going to be able to track you down (unless they have your IP & that's a discussion for another thread) to your house...

Just my two cents.

[Dom Isaac]

This is an internet site first and foremost....I posted that I live in Ohio because yes indeed I do live in Ohio but very few know where exactly in Ohio. Normally when I tell someone its near so and so. Unless they trace my ISP they aren;t going to know where exactly in Ohio I am.

Safety online is a BIG factor. You have no clue if someone is a hacker or a serial killer or rapist, etc. Not say ing that anyone here is those things but you never know.

Thank you Reignslilslave, that was a much more polite and thought out response.

You've also made a good point, if someone were a hacker and traced your ISP to find you, it wouldnt matter whether you posted a fake name, fake pic, or fake location. As much as safety is a big issue, were all here, so in a way we've all made a conscious decision to accept the risks that go along with being here.

Oh and just for the record, I'm not here looking to hook up. LOL! I do already have a wonderful sub who I've no intention of replacing. she's My baby girl.

[Dom Isaac]

Now, could most people put in "eastern US" or "western canada" or "UK"?? Sure thing, they could. I am not saying ANYONE should put in "I live on Kinky st, in the small town of kinksville, in western MD." NO... but what I am saying is that I understand what you're saying, Dom Issac, and yeah, people could put a geographic identifier w/o being too specific.

Thanks delia, thats pretty much exactly what I was shooting for.

[Ragoczy]

You know, this thread makes me a little sad.

I remember a time when no one was afraid to give out their name or location online because they didn't need to be. The concept of predators hadn't really made it to the online world.

Of course, that was a long time ago. Before the Internet, when being "online" meant paying by the hour to a Compuserve or an AppleLink (AOL's predecessor) -- or calling a local, private BBS that some guy ran out of his house.

I remember being in chats on a board out of Boston and having people say things like "Hey, we're having a little play party tonight, here's the address ..."

Now people have to run background checks before meeting for dinner.

I'm freakin' depressed.

[Mastrovenice]

I am interested in meeting people in my area, and though I do understand safety concerns, it does frustrate me that its so hard to find locals. The reason that I don't do much of this on collarme is that I like the people here better!...

[rooshoe]

I agree with most of what's been said - it would be nice to be able to just meet up for coffee or lunch with people and share locations without being worried about stalkers or killers, but... unfortunately, that is not the world we live in.

I live in San Francisco/the Bay Area, and it's not even easy to meet people who live around here (not that i've actually been trying, but w/e). I'm interested in meeting people I can talk with and be friends with, not play with, but it's still difficult. The one advantage to living in this area is that there's a very strong gay community here (in case you didn't know ;D) which is generally more open, so i prefer hanging out in the Castro over other parts of the city.

[Wolfspet]

I agree it is sad that in our day we have less of a safe feeling.

I also agree I would like to meet people to be able to have someone who gets where I am coming from, have coffee and a solid conversation. Being I live in nowheresville just beyond the lake in Minnesota it is impossible. Add to this I have looked on other sites and get a ton of hook up requests but that is not what I want either... I really do enjoy the people here, this is a great place to be.

The good thing is we have this forum and its a great place to meet people across the country or the world... that would not have happened 20 yrs ago.

Best Wishes And Warm Thoughts For All

[thepast]

*goes to search every single one of MN's 1000 lakes before realizing that would mean searching the entire state...*

Some people here DO meet up--it just takes time & patience and a bit of risk taking...

[DowntownAmber]

I don't have my home state or general area listed because my preference is to be contacted by and to share that information with people I like and have a connection with first, whether that connection be via chat or through the forums themselves. I'm not really scared that if I say, "hey, subbie from Sheepshead, WY here!" that the entirelty of the internet will suddenly be scouring the dusty streets of the Western United States looking for a Wrangler clad version of my avatar; I simply go for personality over proximity.

As I become friends with folks, I have no trouble inviting them into my home or calling them to meet up for a drink as I blow through their respective locales. Frankly, I think a lil' subbie in the world is in more danger walking into a bar than she is here on the Forums, but I still go out.

Thus concludes my two cents.

[fetishdj]

I also agree I would like to meet people to be able to have someone who gets where I am coming from, have coffee and a solid conversation. Being I live in nowheresville just beyond the lake in Minnesota it is impossible. Add to this I have looked on other sites and get a ton of hook up requests but that is not what I want either... I really do enjoy the people here, this is a great place to be.

There is a solution to this... one list I am on (a yahoo list local to the area) has regular adverts from all the local munches so members can see where and when locals are meeting. If those who organise munches (and I know a few on here who do) or those who get details of them from other places were to post those details somewhere in this site then this would give everyone information about the local scene. If it isn't local to you then you can ignore it, if it is local to you but you are not interested/don't want to be revealed to anyone then you can ignore it. If you are interested, you can go to the munch without revealing to the rest of the site your location. You don't even have to tell the people at the munch who you are on the site if yuo don't want to but if you do you may find a lot more people who recognise you from your handle and therefore fit in better.

As for IP addresses.... you can get that without knowing location if you know what to do. Many sites log the IP address of computers posting to them and at the very least the moderators/admin can get access to it. This is mainly so that they can prevent banned posters from creating a new ID and continuiing to cause hassle - they ban the IP address rather than the user id.

It is however each individual poster's free choice as to whether they post their location or not. The board does not make it a required field in the profile (many do, the moderators could, if they chose, make it a required field in registration). It is a shame that so few wish to do so but that is their choice. I do it out of a desire to see if I am indeed the only person from Birmingham on this site... so far no one has proven me wrong...

[medusa]

I haven't put where I am because anyone with that information could find out virtually everything that there is to know about me because of my local web presence in that local area.

I wouldn't give my location unless I may be interesting in meeting up at some point. I'm not really into social gatherings and so where I am is more or less irrelevant.