Am I a lesbian???

[MissConfused]

I have an enormous desire to bind other women and watch them struggle.
I don't want to "taste" their bodies but I do want to see them submit to me.

Am I a lesbian?
Someone said I am but I don't believe I am.

[switch_diana]

It doesn't have to mean you are a lesbian, especially if you still like men as well. Perhaps you just like something about the female body in bondage.

[Hime]

If you're sexually turned-on by thoughts of other women, as well as by men, I would come to the conclusion that you're bisexual (like me). If you're not turned on by men, yeah, it sounds like you're a lesbian.

I've heard women say before that they can't be gay or bi because they're not interested in, as you say, "tasting" a woman. Personally, I don't think that's the most relevant point, since plenty of straight men are turned off by going down there, and they still like women. There are tons of ways for two women to have sex, including with toys, manual sex, breast play, etc. Cunnilingus isn't the be-all-and-end-all of a lesbian sex life.

However, it's your sexuality and you can define it however you want. If you don't think of yourself as bi or lesbian, that is 100% your business.

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

Does the label matter?

i am a girl.
i was in a 9 year relationship with another girl.
i am now in a MUCH better relationship with a female Dom.
am i a lesbian?

i once would have said so...and did. Now i don't. i am tecnically bi, but really i have no need for labels. My sexuality is fluid. i love who i love for themselves not because of the anatomy on the outside.

Don't let the world label You if You don't want to be labeled. Be fluid and happy with the knowledge that it is nobodies business but Your own. If You don't believe You are one..then You aren't. Simple as that.
*hugs*
and don't worry...sexuality is a hard thing to define. Dom women...sub under men, whatever makes You happy. Have fun and enjoy life how You see fit!

[Ozme52]

Quite frankly, you're whatever you want to be. Labels only really matter if you assign them yourself.

If it pleases you to be a "straight hetero who likes to tie up women" then you are a "straight hetero who likes to tie up women." Nothing wrong with it whatever you call it.

BTW... I recently heard the term "Waist Up Lesbian"

Maybe that has some applicability?

[Euryleia]

Why not be a lesbian?

We are a fabulous bunch who get to love women--what could be better than that? Oh, right, tying them up first and enjoying their struggles.

[tusayan]

Don't put yourself into a category. Experience and enjoy all that life offers you.

In other non-Western cultures multiple "genders" and preferences are often accepted, without the need for either homo or hetero sex.

[leo9]

It's my belief that if you're seriously into BDSM, that trumps the hetero-homo orientation. You're turned on by submissives, gender comes next.

I've known plenty of men who wanted to be dominated by a woman, but since one wasn't available (good Dommes being notoriously scarce), they'd settle for me. Mostly they swore they were straight, and I believed them: they were turned on by dominants, gender was secondary.

Not that it matters that much. As other posters have said, what's bad about being a lesbian? SOme of my best play partners have been lesbians.

[fetishdj]

On a deeply, hormonal and emotional level do you get wet when you see a naked woman? Or does it make a difference if the woman is naked or not when she is bound? Do you care whether the woman is pretty or not or even who the woman is?

These are questions you need to be thinking about if you want to answer your question. As stated, labels do not matter and largely BDSM transcends both sex and gender preference. However, if you get definite sexual feelings from seeing a naked woman (unbound) then the chances are you have some homosexual tendencies which you may want to explore. If you also get similar feelings from naked men then you are bisexual.

Either way, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sexuality is something intrinsic to your nature (it may even be genetic but I am not sure there has been much research on it other than an observation that some animals have similar tendencies and my theory is that it is at least partly hormonal in nature and therefore partly genetic) and despite what some homophobes may say it is not 'just a phase' or 'something that can be cured'. Best you can do is enjoy life any way you can and if that includes tying up women and watching them struggle then thats fine. In fact, if you like you can tie them up and watch while I taste them so then everyone is happy. I'll even do it naked if it will satisfy your bi tendencies

[lucy]

In fact, if you like you can tie them up and watch while I taste them so then everyone is happy. I'll even do it naked if it will satisfy your bi tendencies

Let me be the one being tied up, puleeeeeze
Now i'm wondering what wanting to be tied up by a woman and eaten by a man makes me

On a serious note: I think all that needed to be said has already been said: Don't let anyone tag you as this or that. Just go ahead and enjoy, whatever it may be. Have fun.

[fetishdj]

I'm happy for you to be the one tied

The whole issue of tagging has reminded me of an article in the news yesterday about a C of E vicar who wrote on his blog that all gay men should be tatooed with government health warnings. He claims he said it as a joke (and reading the article I am tended to believe him) but it caused such an outrage...

[leo9]

The whole issue of tagging has reminded me of an article in the news yesterday about a C of E vicar who wrote on his blog that all gay men should be tatooed with government health warnings. He claims he said it as a joke (and reading the article I am tended to believe him) but it caused such an outrage...

Because, after the things other religios have said on the subject, one couldn't be sure he was joking.

[Alexia_30 {UT}]

Miss Confused,
I'd have to agree with most of the other posts. Don't categorize yourself unless you want to and most certainly do not let others perceptions get under your skin.

I adore women, love kissing their soft lips, appreciating their beautiful and unique bodies, watching them in all sorts of...um, intriguing positions. *winks*

Do I consider myself a lesbian? No. I don't even consider myself Bi as I am blissfully happy with the man in my life. Now, are there people who would disagree with me, label me as one of the two...probably. However, I know who I am better than most, and merely consider myself a very open-minded and sensual woman. People can take it or leave it. And most do...especially the wonderful and open-minded indivduals here. :-)

So don't worry about what others say, sweetie. Just be true to yourself and all will be well.

[MissConfused]

Miss Confused,
I'd have to agree with most of the other posts. Don't categorize yourself unless you want to and most certainly do not let others perceptions get under your skin.

I adore women, love kissing their soft lips, appreciating their beautiful and unique bodies, watching them in all sorts of...um, intriguing positions. *winks*

Do I consider myself a lesbian? No. I don't even consider myself Bi as I am blissfully happy with the man in my life. Now, are there people who would disagree with me, label me as one of the two...probably. However, I know who I am better than most, and merely consider myself a very open-minded and sensual woman. People can take it or leave it. And most do...especially the wonderful and open-minded indivduals here. :-)

So don't worry about what others say, sweetie. Just be true to yourself and all will be well.

Alexia you are fantastic!
You have clearly defined my thoughts and doubts
Thank You

[fetishdj]

Because, after the things other religios have said on the subject, one couldn't be sure he was joking.

Exactly. Its something you do have to be careful of, especially in an internet/written media.

Miss Confused: Glad to see that you have managed to sort out some of your feelings. Good luck with it!

[Borgs_slave]

There are so many labels and they only mean the meaning you give them. Lesbian , bi, heteroflexible, just be you and don't worry about how others try to classify you. As you experience things you will figure out on your own how you choose to be identified.

[Alexia_30 {UT}]

Alexia you are fantastic!
You have clearly defined my thoughts and doubts
Thank You

You are welcome, sweetie. Glad to help some. *hugs*

[MissConfused]

Let me be the one being tied up, puleeeeeze
Now i'm wondering what wanting to be tied up by a woman and eaten by a man makes me

On a serious note: I think all that needed to be said has already been said: Don't let anyone tag you as this or that. Just go ahead and enjoy, whatever it may be. Have fun.

Your question sounds like you are as confused as me.
It would be a "safety" outlet for me to have a man watch while I bind another woman.
I could tell myself I was performing for a man.

Of course once you were bound I will leave the room and pray the man does delightful things to you

[Oak]

As the most say, why put a label on yourself? Will it make you feel any better or any different, if you got the label; Lesbian, Bi or straight? Probably not. So why worry, just enjoy the things you like and be yourself. :

[Ozme52]

Your question sounds like you are as confused as me.
It would be a "safety" outlet for me to have a man watch while I bind another woman.
I could tell myself I was performing for a man.

Of course once you were bound I will leave the room and pray the man does delightful things to you

Or maybe take him by the ears and guide him into that delightful grotto?

[MissConfused]

Or maybe take him by the ears and guide him into that delightful grotto?

I would prefer to leave the room and fantasize about him ravishing my sub

[lucy]

Your question sounds like you are as confused as me.
It would be a "safety" outlet for me to have a man watch while I bind another woman.
I could tell myself I was performing for a man.

Of course once you were bound I will leave the room and pray the man does delightful things to you

Actually when i wrote it it was a (bad) attempt at being funny. But you're right, i am also confused. However, i'm not confused about what i am or in which category i might fit, but about what i want and maybe even a tad worried of where our journey will lead us.

But, umm..., i do know that i'd like you to stay in the room

[MissConfused]

If I would stay in the room I would want to sit by your face
I want to look into your eyes as you submit to your master

[Hime]

I've known plenty of men who wanted to be dominated by a woman, but since one wasn't available (good Dommes being notoriously scarce), they'd settle for me. Mostly they swore they were straight, and I believed them: they were turned on by dominants, gender was secondary.

That is amazingly hot to me.

[icey]

it doesnt neccassarily mean your lesbian or bi! kind of confusing i know lol but i am turned on by pics of women in bondage and not men, im also turned on by the idea of and would happily have a woman Dom/me me if IH was present, but not involving any actual sexual contact...and yes i do know for sure that im ''straight'' because i lived with a woman for 6 yrs and had prior to that been involved with both men and women concurrently, however that r/ship ended because i no longer wanted sex with women or found them sexually attractive.

its kind of like people who are turned on by watching or fantasising over s/m but wouldnt actually go any further than a little spanking or fluffy cuffs...it doesnt mean their sadists, masochists, Dom/mes, or subs its just what floats their boat.