Does it Bother You If..

[thir]

To me, specifically finding someone in order to have LESS than what you have at home is using the other person.

How about something 'different from', rather than 'less than?'
Would that feel fair, or would it feel threatening?

[leo9]

Anyway, that's how it feels to me now. I'm about as steadfast as Jello right now, though, so probably in a few weeks I'll be posting about my vanilla lover, two Doms, and a switch. And a partridge in a pear tree.

Funny you should say that, I was just wondering... how about the flip situation? I used to know a lady who was very happy wearing, if I recall aright, three collars: all her Masters knew about each other and were comfortable about sharing her. How would anyone here feel about that? (Apart from "lucky girl!")

[sinderella]

the collar is such a powerful symbol of ownership, and it takes a lot of work (and time) on the part of the sub and the Master to get it...it means they are one...how can a sub be one with three different Masters? i just don't see the collar as something you put on and take off like lingerie...

[jeanne]

I used to know a lady who was very happy wearing, if I recall aright, three collars: all her Masters knew about each other and were comfortable about sharing her. How would anyone here feel about that? (Apart from "lucky girl!")

I must admit...'lucky girl' was the first thought that crossed my greedy little mind.

But, I do believe a collar is a big deal, and I only want one from one person. He knows who He is. That being said, we have other(s). I'm currently exploring my greedy side and finding my place in my local community...and hopefully that will be with a Dom or two that I have a relationship with that is more than just 'play'. I need to submit on a regular basis, not 'get beat' on a regular basis. I won't be accepting a collar from anyone else, and anyone I have a relationship with will know that I belong to Him.

[love2serve]

I agree, I want to be someones 'only one', however sometimes we can't have what we want. I only worry that another sub would know about me too, rather than me just know about her. Like someone said above, you have to respect other people and as long as all parties are happy with the situation then I would be too. But I hate the idea of another sub being made unhappy because her Master had chosen to collar me and not told her. Having said that - in private I am a jealous person, who cant bear the thought of my Master wanting anyone else in the way he says he wants me, but I keep a lid on negative emotions like jealousy and at the moment its working for me.

[thir]

Alright many doms have more then one slave, does it bother you if your master has another slave on the side?

When you say "on the side", do I take it to mean that you are thinking of a situation where your own relationship is the primary one?

I am asking because in some families there is another configuration, which is several subs on an equal basis, or live-outs same system.

[thir]

the collar is such a powerful symbol of ownership, and it takes a lot of work (and time) on the part of the sub and the Master to get it...it means they are one...how can a sub be one with three different Masters? i just don't see the collar as something you put on and take off like lingerie...

I think it sounds simply wonderful!

Yes, a collar is a powerful symbol of ownership, but that does not mean that you cannot be owned by several Dom/mes.

Picture a family with one slave and two Masters, both training the slave, and a collar with two names on it..

It is a poly situation, yes, and that is why it does not mean that the symbol of ownership is "watered down". Just as you can love more than one deeply and sincerely, you can be owned by more than one also sincerely.

It is much more rare with men as Doms as far as I know, but it does exist.

Oh what a thought!

[sinderella]

I agree, I want to be someones 'only one', however sometimes we can't have what we want. I only worry that another sub would know about me too, rather than me just know about her. Like someone said above, you have to respect other people and as long as all parties are happy with the situation then I would be too. But I hate the idea of another sub being made unhappy because her Master had chosen to collar me and not told her. Having said that - in private I am a jealous person, who cant bear the thought of my Master wanting anyone else in the way he says he wants me, but I keep a lid on negative emotions like jealousy and at the moment its working for me.

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

respectfully, sinderella

[sinderella]

I think it sounds simply wonderful!

Yes, a collar is a powerful symbol of ownership, but that does not mean that you cannot be owned by several Dom/mes.

Picture a family with one slave and two Masters, both training the slave, and a collar with two names on it..

It is a poly situation, yes, and that is why it does not mean that the symbol of ownership is "watered down". Just as you can love more than one deeply and sincerely, you can be owned by more than one also sincerely.

It is much more rare with men as Doms as far as I know, but it does exist.

Oh what a thought!

interesting. there are many ways to love a Master (or Masters), and it boils down to each person, each couple, their sensibiities, and all. i admire people who have the fortitude...i guess i am too sensitive and romantic. thank you for your thoughts - i mean this in all sincerity. i luv discovering so many different points of view. my eyes are opening, no doubt.

[love2serve]

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

respectfully, sinderella

I didnt say I didnt feel pangs of jealousy when I think of those things, I just said I personally manage to keep a lid on them. And I also personally think jealousy is a very negative emotion no matter how real it is, it can tear you apart if you let it and I for one wont ever let it ruin a good thing. I guess I wouldnt have felt like this twenty years ago, but at my age negativity is something I find useless and I strive to find the best in every situation and find my life a whole lot happier for doing so.

equally respectfully Love2serve

[sinderella]

i am with you on that negativity thing...i actually strive to keep as much negativity out of my life as possible, and i am happier for it.

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

[thir]

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

Amen to that! I think the crucial thing is to agree beforehand whether or not other people will be involved, and not spring it on anyone. And as you say, talk about it and do not keep things in the dark.

[star_sparkle]

i've read alot of the responses, and i seem to be in the minority here. I mean, i am very comfortable in my position and no matter who He brought in or in what context He brought them in with, it still would not bother me. i am confident enough that i know no matter what happens things between us will not change. We are a unit together first and foremost.

[twisty]

I would have always have said that I hate it, that I'm a very jelous one. But my Master has said that a real slave has no say in any thing, & I must give all limits to him. So I would now have to say it is up to my Master. That it is some thing I have given to him, & at this point he does not want any one else. He has said that he does not like to have any other slave other then me. So I go with what ever my Master decides for me.

[guest010609]

My Master and I have been in poly relationships where he had other subs (not slaves though). It was terrible. I was jealous all the time, even when I knew there was no logic behind it. Now I am cucked, and that I love and am rarely jealous of the other girls. BUT... they are only casual encounters and NOT bdsm oriented... just nilla fucking around. That is a very important factor for me. I have learned that jealousy in a cucking situation can be very arousing and almost like a purging feeling after I cry about it. It's just so different than a poly relationship or sharing my dom... that just feels awful to me. I know some girls can do it... some like it (or claim to...I'm not a mind reader). But it's not for me.

[guest010609]

i am with you on that negativity thing...i actually strive to keep as much negativity out of my life as possible, and i am happier for it.

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

I tried so hard to make poly work. I wanted it. I literally brought it up and asked for it. I was even in love with our other partners as well. I truly was open, honest and completely forthright ALL the time. But it still never made me feel ok. My Master and the other girls were honest as well, but I could never overcome the jealousy. <shrug> I don't know... everyone says communication is the key, but I talked till I was blue in the face and it never helped. As it turned out though, we found out that he didn't enjoy it either (admittedly partly because of my misery) so we stopped. Now he chooses to cuck me instead and we are both very happy with this.

[aussiesubgirl]

Not in a million years could I do this....I may be a submissive, but I am HIS submissive and He is MY Master....I would damn well near tear anyone apart that tried to get interfere with that bond and would not respect him if he chose to share what we have with someone else....

But then he does call me the 'little green eyed monster' and not just cos I have green eyes ;o)

[SubmissiveDoll]

Not in a million years could I do this....I may be a submissive, but I am HIS submissive and He is MY Master....I would damn well near tear anyone apart that tried to get interfere with that bond and would not respect him if he chose to share what we have with someone else....

But then he does call me the 'little green eyed monster' and not just cos I have green eyes ;o)

This is me... I'm so possessive with him. It's weird too, cause I wouldn't have cared with my vanilla relationships, with him... I'd hurt someone.

[wind_dancer{W_W}]

OHHHHH YEAH IT WOULD I WOULD PROBABLY END UP HEART BROKEN AND CRUSHED.... but if it was what my Lord desired i would deal with it because i love Him!

[overxposedpet]

I would be totally devastated, I am afraid I do not share well. I would feel like I wasn't enough for him. I would be equally devastated if he wanted someone else to Dom me.

[Zarine13]

If I was in a real relationship and had a Master, then no, I would not be ok with it.

Commitment means a lot to me, being with only me is part of that commitment, be it RL or online.

[leo9]

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

You don't: you deal with it. That goes for every kind of problem feelings.

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

In my experience, by focussing on what it means to hir rather than on your own feelings, and being glad that sie is having a good time, whoever with. When I was in a (mostly vanilla) foursome and people asked me if I didn't resent my wife's other husbands, I asked how I could resent anyone doing something good for the woman I loved?

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

This is true. So rather than telling yourself you shouldn't feel it or trying not to feel what you feel, you work with it and find out what about the situation is distressing - are you afraid he'll like her better, do you feel she's getting time you should have?