my 3rd assignment

[suissepervert]

Sorry for the long wait. I was too busy to post it sooner. I'm not too happy with it. I hope it is acceptable.

Here the assignment:

What I would like you to do next is to write a short passage ( no more than 5 paragraphs but at least 2 paragraphs) describing something you feel passionate about. This does not have to be erotic. I am looking to see both how you use words and the emotion you can put into the piece.

I love football (not american )

Football (or soccer for amricans) is a great game. Especially the girls may ask why, but look around, you will see it is an always spell binding game and really fun to watch. Even beside the field, because often players give mad interviews when they still have the jitters from the game.

Of course you shouldn’t only watch from your couch. Instead you have to visit a game in a stadium too, as you can witness the great atmosphere only live on the spot. Afterwards you will be enthused about that collective expierience.

One last point: Don’t go alone, take a few friends with you. You’ll see it’s a good opportunity to spent time with your friends. If the game is over you should visit a pub with them. That will bring your afternoon to a delightful end.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks suissepervert, and don't worry about taking a while to post, life does has a habit of getting in the way!

I enjoyed your piece, and it even made me laugh with your comment about the mad interviews! I am thinking the reason why you may not be happy with this piece is because while it is interesting, you have not given me a lot of emotion. I would like you to do the task below and see if you can add a bit more emotion to your writing.

Describe the atmosphere in the stadium for me.

What can you see?
What can you hear?
What can you smell?
What does it make you feel to be a part of the crowd, with you friends, cheering on your team?
Let me feel like I am there, seeing it through your eyes.

Note, there is no right way to do this, just imagine you are there and write how you feel.

Good luck and do feel free to contact me if you need help.