any suggestions?

[hamletgirl05]

First off I figured who better to ask than a dom so...I'm really very new to the whole realm of submission. While I'm very excited to start my new adventure I'm not really sure where to begin. I figured that the first step was to find a dom (luckily i found one very easily in my lover/ boyfriend) He is as well very new to the scene. Aside from that I'm not sure where to go from there. Any advise, suggestions, or questions would be very welcomed and appreciated.

[_ID_]

Read lots! Find and fill out a checklist, exchange it, and talk about it.

Communication Communication Communication.

[hamletgirl05]

what kind of checklist? and im not really sure what kinds of things to be reading. any suggestions in that area?

[moco]

there are lots of checklists around, one at this site, and others at other sites. Here is the one for this site. I hope this helps you in your quest.


http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9385

[leah06]

Start with bdsm 101 and A-Z on this site. These are great places to start. Also, not to sound silly, but the wikipedia articles on bdsm, s/m, etc are great background and have decent links. I've heard good things about Jay Wiseman's book SM 101, and a book called Screw the Roses, Give Me The Thorns. I haven't personally read them though.

[_ID_]

Different Loving is one of the best IMO

and here's a the best checklist I've ever found.

http://docs.google.com/View?id=ddxnkqbd_9g4trfd

[hamletgirl05]

thank you so much, the checklist really helped a lot. if you think of any other suggestions, please let me know.

[_ID_]

This suggestion is for both you and he.

Blog or Journal about your experiences, and share them. Record your expectations before the scene, and your thoughts during the scene, and then a few days later how you feel. Also record your views, your questions, your fears and joys.

After filling out the checklist, exchange it, talk about it. Then about a month to three months later do it again. See how your views change, or don't change.

As you grow in your role, and in life. You will be able to reflect back and see where you were and how you've changed. Knowing this is helpful to your own education, and to learn yourself.

Don't know where to blog? They have one here. They have one at Fet Life, and one on mydungeonspace. Pick one.