Does your Dom/me really truly want submission?

[nawteeone]

I just replied on a thread, and it got me to thinking. My deep down, personal belief is: If I ever became fully submissive & totally compliant 24/7, I think M would lose interest quickly. Sure, he says he wants me completely submissive, but that's just in the context of sexual relations. And even then, I know (even if he won't admit it) that he LOVES the thrill of the chase. I know that he loves seeing me battle myself over & over, wanting pain & degradation, but then getting skittish about both. He's never so turned on as when I am in a mood to NOT be submissive, and yet I find myself unexpectedly going to the deepest depths of submission. It's like he won. Again. lol.


I dunno. I'm full of random musings today.

[MistressMallory]

From the Dom/me perspective (and I certainly can't speak for all Dom/mes), I do really and truly deep down want something close to complete submission from My Pet. Now, let me add a caveat: I want to be the ONLY person she submits to. I ADORE watching her tear apart rude people, idiots, closeminded jerks and the like. The last thing I would want to see is for her to become a snivelling, shrinking creature whose main purpose in life was to get kicked around by those close to her.

Also, My version of what "submission" is may differ a great deal from what you're thinking of as "submission", nawteeone. My version of "submission" is that I have the final say on anything W/we do as a couple and on anything she does short of things that would drastically affect her life. In other words, I don't want to control her work life (because I don't work, so I stand to lose a great deal by putting her livelihood in jeopardy), her medical life (because of her disability and because I simply don't know enough about it; I'm not a doctor) or her family life (because frankly, I just don't want them to know about O/our kink) in any way. What do I want to control? I want to be able to have her say to Me, "Here, can you call the Chinese food restaurant?" and to respond with, "No, that's your job" and be obeyed without question. I want to be able to, for example (if you've seen Secretary) tell her exactly how many peas she is allowed to eat on Tuesdays. I want her to know that I will collar her when she walks in the door and leave her collared until *I* feel the desire to remove the collar, and if she has to wear it in public, so be it. I want to know that she trusts Me so completely that she knows I would never intentionally harm her, physically or psychologically, and that because she knows this she doesn't fight back when I impose My will.

Frankly, while the "thrill of the chase" is sometimes fun, for Me personally that can get old extremely quickly. I find obedience and submission without prompting to be much more sensually pleasing and I'm more turned on by watching the switch in My Pet flip when she deals with Me as opposed to the rest of the world. I don't want to fight for her to submit to me; then I just feel like I'm making her do something she doesn't want to do.

Does that make sense?

[nawteeone]

Yup, it totally does. (And I love the pea limitations. What a nice Dom to make her only eat a few! lol. And then she got as much ice cream as she wanted, right? Woo hoo! ). I think if I struggled too much, M would get tired of it quickly. I'd say I'm a pretty good submissive 95% of the time. Hmmm. Maybe I should ask him if he agrees with that. lol

heh heh. I just emailed him.....and the answer is: "Not bad. Probably about 92% of the time but not enough"

Hey, I was close!

[13'sbadkitty]

mine has told me He wants my submission completely like MistressMallory said in much the same ways, job, family, kids, my support group are mine to do with as i see fit. He wants me to be intellectually interesting, have a sense of humor the things that make a person interesting but respectful in my sense of humor ( sarcasm is my first language) there are certain types of playfulness hard to describe which i know He enjoys, but even then in small doses. if He tells me enough, then its enough. if i hesitate when He commands me, thats an issue. He says if i want to be sexually interesting to Him, keep looking for ways to keep it interesting rather than make Him feel like He has to control me. i am so far from perfect at this, i hesitate all the time...i make one too many remarks etc on accident mostly from 44 years living a different way. this is why He says He always has a reason to punish me if He feels like it.