Then let's put you to work on the next chapter of this story.

Your tasks are to pay careful attention to the same comments as before:

* layout for an e-book or web page.

* use active tense wherever possible

* check sentence lengths and how you end them.

... does not end a sentence
neither does a ;

Break up those run on sentences to help the reader take a mental breath.

* Remove empty words that are not in dialog and check to see if you are using words that end in -ly too frequently.

* Play with sentence length to change the pacing.

* Watch the sequence of actions to show your readers whats happening.

* Add a copyright line.
(C) 2006 Daes All rights reserved.

Have fun!

I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
You can start a new thread and call it
Chapter Two - Daes Level Three Assignment

Thanks,

Ruby