Rhabbi, I just read over your offering. Your thoughts are most appreciated. As I am sure you noticed, the majority of your nits were made over the newer additions to my story. When I do go back for another edit I will try to keep your comments in mind. I might even return here to visit the red marks.

I must have failed in one area. These people are not pretentious so much as secretive. I will have to adjust my narrative to indicate this. While I do want them to possess an aire of superiority, I don't want that to be over blown.

I would definately have some questions about this material. Skin needs to breathe, It also needs to be clean. It sheds. I know this because I was in the Navy. We spent weeks far from land, yet the floor kept getting dirty. Swab the deck 2x a day everyday, and the water was always black. this was shed skin.

This material, how does it deal with waste? Irritation? etc.
I chuckled when I read this. It is one of the nits I have had with so many latex and rubber transformation stories I have read. Rest assured that I have answered the question to a large degree - we just aren't there yet. It is addressed in another story, though.

This seems to me to totally throw off the flow. Saying frozen in time gives me the wrong idea here. My first thought was some type of time stop, but I do not believe that was your ultimate intention, else her eyes woul not open. Plus, if she is aware of her plight, it adds to the sadistic pleasure.
You've no idea how much I liked that "frozen in time" bit. But I do see your point. I do need to adjust that and come up with something more descriptive of her state. I imagine I will adjust that when next I edit. But I am going to keep the "forever in service of monsters". I really liked that phrase.

I do get the feeling that they would consider themselves superior to the "art" on dispay, and that is why i would suggest going for the proper use of english. As Carrie Fisher once said, "Some things can only be said with an English accent."
Their feelings of superiority are not what they appear to be. These thigns will, I hope, become more evident as the story continues and with my edits, as well. Mostly, these are sadistic people who are extremely appreciative of art and eroticism. They have managed, thanks to their wealth, to combine both interests. I may move to indicate this in the narrative or in a prologue. I don't know yet.

Anyway, I do appreciate your input. You seem to be quite good at it. You are also lots nicer than I am, though not as good looking.