Silke's thread, level two

[Silke]

Ok, Aussiegirl...here goes my first rough draft. Just a short teaser written in Wordpad without any aids available. Hope you enjoy!

Haunted

"Who's there?"

Emma jumped up from her mattress, her eyes darting around the empty apartment. With goosebumps all over her body she slowly checked room by room, her heart pounding heavily in her chest.

She had moved to London just a couple of days ago and had considered herself the luckiest person in the world to have found such a great apartment straight away - and it was dead cheap, too. The house was an old Victorian building on the outskirts of London. A bit run down admittedly, but it still carried the glory of the old days; the spacious entrance hall with its spectacular mosaic and ancient portraits made her gasp every time she opened the front door.

Currently she was the only person living here, although there were three apartments in total. The old landlady had explained, that the house had been uninhabited for a couple of years, after the previous owner and his wife had mysteriously disappeared practically over night. Nobody had wanted the house after that; rumours of it being haunted had made sure of that.

Emma had loved the story; somehow it fit with the house and made it even more special, gave it character. And at least her own apartment hadn't seemed haunted at all...until now.

She tiptoed around the half unpacked boxes in the living room, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light coming from the big fire place on the far side of the room. Dark shadows were dancing on the walls, moving to the cracking sound of the flames, following a tribal rhythm only they could hear. But there was no one here. She had been so sure that the whispers that woke her up with a start had come from this room.

"Hello?" She asked again with fear ringing in her voice, but only the fire and the howling wind outside seemed to care enough to answer.

However, someone listened and watched her from the shadows. His expression was thoughtful and grave and made him look much older than he was. "Could she be the one?" The time was not here, yet, he thought. But soon, very soon. Just a little more patience. A faint smile lit up his beautiful, almost angelic face as he faded into the dark.

[Silke]

argh...want to edit it already *fingers itching*, lol. I guess that's what rough drafts are about, though.

[Aussiegirl1]

Very well done Silke!

Not only am I bursting to know what happens next but you didn't have any spelling errors. You also seem to have a good understanding of when and how to use commas and semi-colons. Your paragraphs are of a good length and you have used correct punctuation throughout. A Gold star to you!

Ok, your next task to is write me another piece ( or add onto this one if you wish *please*) but this time you may use your spelling and grammar check and proof read it. I will look forward eagerly to your next piece of writing.

[Silke]

Oh wow, thanks! *blushes* Lol, I'm not sure how the story goes on - good at writing teasers without knowing what happens next - it's a nightmare! *giggles* But I'll try to come up with something for you, hon. *hugs*

[Talia]

I liked that one too Silke! You do sooooo well in your writing.

SB

[Silke]

*smiles* thanks, SB! Now, do you have an idea what this story is about? I don't, lol.

[orchid]

great job - good tension there for sure
i hope you will continue this one

[TheKnothead]

Silke, that was amazing! You pulled me right into this story.

TKH

[Silke]

*smiles* thanks for the nice comments, orchid and TKH.