A remarkably head-nodding article. I enjoyed it and, obviously, agreed --
recently we've joined a discussion group locally of folk with long BDSM experience. Protocol, other than social courtesy, is not observed ... except for within the household. In other words, if Pita and I were to observe a particular protocol we would continue to observe it as normal, but others are not expected to treat us as we expect to be treated by one another.
Within this household we do recognize some protocols, as I'm fond of ritual, but they do not involve capitalizing pronouns or kneeling. In real life, who has the damn time to deal with a long list of formalized nonsense just to go about domestic activities?
On the other hand, I'll fight to the death, to paraphrase Voltaire, for your right to do so if you have a protocol fetish. And some do.
hJ