Originally posted by -angelstar-

but, my dad used to believe in corporal punishment when i was younger. ie. the cane.
So how do you feel about the cane being used on you in your D/s scenes? I wonder because my dad used his leather belt for punishment and I find myself craving the $15 belt of a Master more than his $250.00 flogger.

I have known many people in BDSM who were abused as kids and it effects the way they scene now. For instance one submissive I met was forced to have anal sex with an uncle. To this day, no matter how deep into sub space she is, if she is touched there she snaps out of it and calls her safe word. She does not believe that the abuse brought her to the life but was in fact the only reason she hesitated as long as she did to get involved. Now she says the abuse and the BDSM scene are 2 seperate things but anything anal is on her list of limits and no-nos.

However, I met a Dom who was molested as a boy. When he was introduced to BDSM he was dead set against it. He said the only reason he would go to D/s clubs with his friend was to help anyone who needed it. He met many submissives who told him they liked being vulnerable and helpless in front of someone and he got involved more because he wanted to protect submissives who so willing put themselves in what could be harm's way. In his case, the abuse was what brought him in. I must say he is wonderful at it too. His ability to take people right to the edge of their comfort zone and never cross the line is unprecedented in my experience. He believes he can sense where the line is because he was taken across it himself. He has never had anyone say their safe word with him but many have told me they love that he can take them as close to it as they fantasized about.

As for me, I used to sneak peeks at my dad's adult magazines when I was a kid. I found the few with people tied up and being spanked more intriguing than the "vanilla" ones. Well, I was raped by a stranger at 16 and shut off my fantasies after that. As time pased and I delt with the rape my fantasies came back but they were a bit darker. I believe I would have gotten involved in BDSM anyway but I also believe the darker side is a resut of the rape.

Karen