I have not read the three pages of replies as my poor eyes are so tired, but I will reply to the origanal post.

I do not believe that someone who is involved in BDSM is a case of abuse...at least not in a great many. Yes, there are people who are submissive/masocists because that is all they know. It;s what they are used to, and even bad things are hard to stay away from. It;s like a man who has been in prison most of life. He may hate being in prison, loathe it, and dream of freedom in the outside world, but as soon as he is out on his own, he desperately wants to return because it is what he has been used to for a good portion of his life.

On the other hand, dominants that have been abused in the past may be dominant for the purpose of "revenge" To assure themselves that they are no longer the victims and can assert their power on someone else. (These people should be avoided at all cost in my opinion and these are the ones that give us a bad name)

That being said, I was not ever abused...at least not while I was a child. My paretns rarely laid a hand on me other than the odd spanking...though all my father had to do was give me "the look". I was in an abusive relationship when I was in my early 20's though but I had already been aware of my interest.

Did my interest draw me to this guy? No. He was very nice and very sweet until we moved into an apartment together and, having been on his own for the first time and having more money than he knew what to do with, he went nuts with drugs and drinking which drove him to do some of the many things he had done to me. I know it isn't an excuse, but those are the facts all the same.

I think that BDSM is more like a regular relationship in more ways that people realise. We just focus more on the abused in this lifestyle than in the others because of the type of activities. I don't know what the statistics/ratios are, but that is my opinion. Because we have whip each other, we wonder and over analyse it.