I believe in the possibility of someone being both loving and sadistic. My boyfriend derives enormous pleasure from subjecting me to painful treatment. That part of his personality is clearly sadistic. I know also that he would also enjoy torturing somebody else so his sadistic impulses are not triggered just by me.

But here is the difference. He also loves me. His sadistic pleasure is enhanced and at the same time limited, I guess, by the pleasure he gets from loving me. That is why he never engages in bdsm activities (as a dom) with other women.

And the ultimate proof that his sadism is not selfish and that he loves me is the very fact that he does inflict pain and suffering upon me. If he did not love me he would do the only truly sadistic thing you can inflict on a masochist like me: Nothing.
So by Spitman's definition yes, Loving Sadism is an oxymoron. But Sadistic Loving is not.