Hi, Rihannonmackey and welcome to the forums. You will get lots of good advise from all the regulars. For my part I will tell you that from your post you sound like you have not had the opportunity to learn a lot about bdsm. (A wishy-washy dom is not much help either).
I suggest you hang around here for a little while, read the forums and enjoy the library, discover what turns you on and what excites your mind (even in non-sexual ways) before you talk to your partners. Knowing what to say can be as important as how to say it. And do not be afraid to ask questions. I have been in the lifestyle for a few years and everytime I read the forums I learn more and more about communicating what I want and what I feel.