While I don't consider myself an expert on the lifestyle I do believe that I have been in situations similar to yours.
I do consider myself an antisocial person, but the friends I do have are close to me and do tend to value any opinions that I have.
I have not outed myself to anyone, but at times I have given out tidbits of information that have left others confused and slackjawed.
There are friends who like a colorful conversation, and yet there are others who do not understand why I do not want to talk about getting married and having babies...etc....
I believe, and this is my own opinion, that people in this lifestyle tend to think outside of the box and are far more open in thier opinions of what they want and believe compared to that of Vanilla's who tend to think of what society wants them to think, or maybe they are just designed that way.
So to sum up my point of view, people who I have to be careful with and have to conform to, I tend to stay away from, they are not worth my time nor my effort. The people who do not mind my different views and opinions are the ones I want to get to know and keep around.
And the people in the BDSM lifestyle who accept me for who I am are priceless.