i think what muse said is a great point...nilla or lifestyle, there are some people that are just not cut out to stick around after the newness and excitement wears off...

my advice, take the same time and the same precautions you would in a 'normal' relationship...yes, there will be hurt and heartbreak in the lifestyle, but there will be in the 'nilla world too...

and as well as the 'nilla world, there can be love, laughter, fulfillment and forever here too. when you meet the right one, i believe you will just know...does that mean it will be forever?

not necessarily...but then again, no 'nilla partnership is necessarily forever either.

believe me...i am going thru this right now. My Master wavers in this lifestyle..i do not..i am in the middle of trying to decide if sometimes is enough for me...and if its not, i have decision to make....either i can cheat myself out of my true self and stay with Him, whom i love dearly...or i can cut my losses (after 14 years together, 10 of them married) and move on.

Bottom line is only you will know whats right for you and you just have to take steps to get there

easier said than done, and i am being quite the hypocrite here, considering my position but trying to be as truthful as i can at the moment.

good luck!
orchid