Koppite, my heart goes out to you, not in pity, but in strength and courage. What you are going through is inhumane. To echo all of the other people - TW, Frankee, Tojo, and Cariad - you are in an abusive relationship, and you do not deserve it. You are a good person, you deserve to love and be loved, and not have that love turned against you or used as a weapon to destroy your self worth.

Being a submissive does not mean that you have to subject your soul to abuse. Being marked permanently in a manner that is not taken seriously by both parties is not right. The fact that she is new to this does not excuse her from her abhorrent behaviour, nor does it give her the right to subject you to this kind of treatment. Submissive or not, you have the right to walk away, even though it may hurt when you are doing it. You have the right to feel secure and safe and loved. You have the right to be angry at this treatment.

Listen to your instincts. Listen to yourself. If your heart is telling you this behaviour is wrong, this relationship is wrong, it is. Trust yourself. Have courage and faith in yourself first and foremost. What you are going through is difficult, but you have taken the first and most important step: you have realized that you are no longer satisfied in a relationship that has taken a very, very wrong turn. To echo TW's words: Get out, now.

You are a worthy person, worthy of love, worthy of respect, worthy of common decency, as we all are. You did not ask to be abused; no one does. This is not your fault. You have to believe that.

Know that you do have an entire community here that will support you through this. You have taken the biggest step of all - reaching out for help. Please know that you are valuable, you are important. And know that we will not turn you away. Please...keep in touch, and let us know how you are doing. We want to know that you are ok.

*hugs*