Without repeating too much, I just wanted to add. Don't worry. Even if it feels bad now, you'll find someone special one day. I'm sure this whole experience will in the long run make you stronger and better at finding a perspective mate in the future. I can very much identify myself with being used and abused once in my youth, (Masters have feelings to). Permanent markings wasn't involved but I can very much remember the similar feelings I had.

The most important thing I think is worth repeating here is what Timberwolf said so aply, "don't make excuses for her". I know it's compelling to pursue her, but just don't. It'll just give you more pain and above all, she clearly doesn't deserve you.