Okay...Koppite...real life has gotten in the way of me posting here, but when cariad directed me to your post, i felt that you are worth the time. Worth the time.

I agree that submission is a gift...it's a gift to be treasured. How can someone that is receiving this gift... a most precious one at that...not treat it with the utmost respect and care? The only thing I can think is that this woman ~gags on the word~ is void of emotion.

For you to blame yourself for her inadequacies is just wrong. You are special and should be treated as such; however, if you refuse to see yourself as special, you will continue to accept her abuse...which is not only physical, but worse than that emotional.

As others have said...don't walk away from her...RUN. She doesn't deserve your devotion or your loyalty and she certainly doesn't deserve your love.

There are Dommes out there that would treasure your gift. Seek them out. Remember... you don't need her, she needs you. A Domme without a sub... is not a Domme. Actually, this woman, whom you profess to love...is not a Domme! That, of course, is my humble opinion.

Don't accept further abuse from her. Leave now! Let your heart mend and chalk it up as one of life's lessons. Then move forward, knowing that you have grown and can be proud of yourself.