Being with someone who is "new" to the lifestyle, treats you love and feelings like dirt, disrespects you, abuses you and calls it "play," and BRANDS YOU AFTER ONLY FIVE MONTHS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, is dangerous, and for your own safety you need to remove yourself from that situation immediately. Regardless of what wannabe noob doms tell you, a slave contract is just a piece of paper. If you want out, then get out and if she has a fit, tell her to grow up. What is she going to do, sue you? No judge would hear the case.

In addition, while you may be the sub, you are also the one in control. Yes, I said it. You're the one in control, because if you don't want to give her your submission, you don't have to. As a previous poster said, submission is a valuable gift, and your dom should treat it as such; if she won't do that, then she doesn't deserve you. I highly reccomend a few threads on this site that address your situation. Look at the acid test in the personals section, a-z of BDSM in the knowledge base section, and do a search on any thread containing the word "abuse." There is a wealth of information that will help guide you to the right decision. I really hope you stick around the forums, because we are a close, supportive family that can help you through difficult times and share with you in good times. Best wishes,
-Phantome