Quote Originally Posted by Phantome View Post
Well, ya know, Daes, you make a really good point, too. If someone is new to the scene, but wants to learn to be a sub, then of course he or she is a "wannabe"....they wannabe a sub! Its the fakers that need to separate from the inexperienced ones. Big difference...
-Phan
What we need in this discussion is a definition of what the word entails. Because it seems to be different for all of us. Wannabes for me is somebody who want's to be something their not. A real submissive or slave is somebody who doesn't run away when their dreams come true. Or to put it another way. I call women who fantasize a lot about being submissive and have a completly unrealistic picture of what it entails, and tries to make reality of it, is to me wannabe.

I don't have any experience of on-line domination and I've never picked up anybody at a BDSM/fetish party, (I always have too much fun). So I've so far only picked up submissive girls in the vanilla world, which means that I've met soooo many girls with a very warped vision of what it is.

I remember one girl who was totally hardcore about everything, and after we went through her fantasies one by one the only one that remained was her fantasy about being raped/gang banged, which was the only one that she actually loved doing. The rest she had fantasized a lot about but didn't make her comfortable. I would call her wannabe, becuase she wanted to be something she wasn't.

I have plenty of examples like this. One girl wanted to be my 24/7 slave. We started a bit carefully but she very quickly became pissed off that I didn't get her everything she wanted. So she basically defined D/s as fucking for stuff. I'm not going to make value judgements about other peoples sexuality but that in my book isn't D/s, so I would also like to call her wannabe. She wasn't into being submissive, only into not making decisions in life.

I could make a list all day. I'm good at meeting girls like this and bad at meeting sincere women who've thought their sexuality through.

...I couldn't imagine anyone actually faking it. D/s is quite a radical sex life. The truth will emerge once they start having sex. What would be the point? They could only keep the lie up for as long as it takes the taxi to go to my place.