I only do BDSM online, so keep that in mind.

How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

Well about 3 months back I was on ICQ and looking for cyber when a guy asked me if I was into BDSM. I had only been 18 for a short while (December 2003) and since I (IMO) have good self-control I had not drunk alcohol, viewed porn, or viewed anything with adult warnings until I turned 18 (as tempted as I was). I had figured the law was there for a reason and if I held out, it would be better. Anyway, I asked him what it was. He gave me a very basic overview and said he was a sub. He asked if I was interested. Yes I was. I then did some research and looked it up on the net.

Leading up to that...
When I was younger I used to be a tomboy. I hated dresses and skirts (still do) and being 'pretty'. I was cruel to insects (pulling wings off flies, burning ants with a magnifying glass, etc.) and the pets (putting the dog in the trees, putting pegs on the end of the cats tails, nothing to really hurt them). I got along better with the guys than the girls (until they went through they boy/girl germs phase).

I enjoyed watching movies and TV shows where men were humiliated or hurt. My parents used to tell me I was a sadist and I shouldn't scare/hurt the animals or enjoy watching those things. Of course I denied it. Ever since I was a little girl I had dreamed of things like tying up male TV characters (or my teachers) and doing things like tickling them. Of course nothing sexual in those dreams, but as I developed, so did my dreams and fantasies.

Last year as I was going to school there was a tall boy on our bus and 2 of the other girls used to occasionally try to tickle him. He hated being tickled and he usually managed to stop them. One day they invited me to gang up with them and on a codeword we would all tickle him. They were closer and he managed to stop them, but he then had no limbs to stop me. I was going to tickle him, but he begged and he was such a good begger that I decided not to tickle him and just listen for a while before agreeing not to. That was the best moment in the whole year, when he begged. Even now it brings a big grin to my face.

What was its appeal to you?

Hmm, I think what appeals is that there is material out there that works with my fantasies, and that I can be more creative, and the sense of control.

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

Well I didn't really know what it was. I knew that sadism was bad because of the way my parents would call me a sadist and tell me I shouldn't be.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

As my life goals are to seek knowledge and improve myself, I can apply this to BDSM. I want to learn as much as possible and I encourage others to do the same.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

Neither. I only play online.

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

I must say having control over a man and the situation. Being able to use my creativity. Also, I know I can be stubborn at times and although I am happy to do things for others (so long as it is not a major issue for me) I will only do it if we do it MY way. But mainly the control.

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

At the moment I have no online subs, but I am looking. I had a couple for a while and what I liked about them was their initiative without topping from below. They would ask my permission or beg for something rather than telling me. I only recently lost them due to my lack of being able to come online.