Quote Originally Posted by lola
I also think that if you are a submissive, and you live with or, in close proximity to, an abusive person that, they will likely be able to smell you out and take advantage of you. It doesn't mean that you are a sub because you were abused.
Let us not blur the difference between Dominants and abusers, likewise between submissives and victim types.

I certainly agree that a Dom can usually sense when someone is sub even if sie is not flagging in any obvious way. (I know I can, I've sometimes surprised myself with the people for whom my detector has buzzed, and later found I was right.) And it does appear that abusive characters have an instinct for potential victims.

But most of the submissives I have known have not been victim types, on the contrary: outside the D/s relationship they are usually strong minded, even aggressive people whom any would-be abuser would walk wide around. And speaking just for myself, I am equally quick to avoid victim types.