I have never been abused and I don't remember my mother or father ever raising their hand in anger either towards my brother or myself. My mother wore the pants in the family, and my father tended to be submissive to her. They been happily (yes happily) married for nearly 40 years.

So it's interesting to me that my brother has abused his ex-wife (she dumped is sorry butt after he broke her nose). He's calmed down a bit since then and the current relationship he's in seems better and calmer, although my brother seems to have a pool of anger in him.

I on the other hand am very much the pacifist and have often questioned why I enjoy BDSM because of my beliefs. In fact, sometimes I think I was to concerned about my ex-partners safety and was not "as abusive" as she would like me to be.

It's interesting how are lives are influenced by things.