Just as a point...It says in most cookery books-"Do not heat chocolate in a microwave".

I was actually cooking-no subs involved. My 7-year old daughter was helping me with my efforts to create homemade mint chocolate.

I saw this instruction. Being male, naturally I totally ignored it. I placed the chocolate in the microwave, set the oven at low and switched on.

10 minutes later. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The damned chocolate isn't even warm.

I swear (quietly) and turn the control to "Max".

I switch on the oven and daughter and Dad stand back.

Oven runs for a while. Nothing.

It is at this point that I discover wisdom in the words "Do not heat chocolate in a microwave"

The chocolate spontaneously combusts. It creates the most incredibly thick, black, smelly cloud that obscures everything in the kitchen. Daughter howls with delight, Father swears again-not quietly-as he stumbles around trying to find the door.

Had this been an incident with sexual intent-I do believe the moment may have been spoiled.