Gosh, this has taken a long time to write. Much thought in expressing it. (Dom = Domme, Doms, Dommes)

Snobbery, cliques, 'us and them', oneupmanship - all sadly part of human nature but ignore it all. Be true to yourself is all. Anyway anyone wants to do it is their business, and if it is fulfilling, compelling and genuine, then it's the real thing.

I was certainly a submissive before I'd ever heard of the lifestyle, and that had included living BD & SM activities/scenarios in several r/l relationships, without either party having the knowledge and understanding of what we were doing and its emotional implications, aftercare needs etc.

Coming here has opened my eyes to myself, to the lifestyle, to the mind set, and the people here offer so much knowledge and acceptance of self, I am filled with awe. That they are many of them 'only' able to live their role online is irrelevant. I greatly admire those submissives who are - obviously, to my eyes - genuinely able to give themselves completely to their online Dom, without any r/l interaction: I believe it takes more self-discipline and giving than when the Dom is there to quell you in person. (I speak only of submissives, because I don't feel competent to comment on Domming.)

I have only come to o/l submission recently, with my r/l Dom, due to being temporarily apart. (Only I didn't know that's what he was, until I discovered this place; he's been leading me gently...). I have found our interaction - texts, IM, email - just as compelling as r/l, psychologically, emotionally and sexually. Sure, there are many things that can't be done as well physically as in r/l, but he certainly has control over my mind, my sexual responses: what I wear, when and where to cum, how, what with, what to do for him... etc. Absolutely takes me over in r/l.

In fact, there is a type of enjoyment/excitement in the o/l side that I don't get in r/l, just as there is enjoyment/fulfilment in the r/l side that I can't get o/l, and I believe the same is true for him. When we get back to r/l together, I know that he will continue to control me through texts/phone etc., anytime we are not together, say just going shopping. (And we both have laptops - I wouldn't be surprised if we continued our o/l relationship whilst actually being in the same house!!)

So, Talia - ignore the idiots. Be proud of who and what you are.