koppite,

Please, please understand that what you're going through is not your fault. You're not to blame for it, and you do deserve better.

And I know I'll never be able to convince you through anything I post, but you're also not alone in what you're feeling. I don't mean to speak for other people, but I know *I* have felt similar loneliness and near-despair, and I'd be willing to bet just about everyone else can relate in some way. Is there anyone out there who *hasn't* felt that they would never find the right person? I'm a Dom, not a sub, but I know I often feel like I'll never find the right sub for me. I thought I had once, but it wasn't true. I've also felt other extremely painful losses in my life, and I can say that it may be a cliche, but it's true, you *will* get over it. I never thought I would get over my loss, but I did. Things will get better, I swear.

But in the meantime, don't give up hope of finding someone, and don't blame yourself for things you didn't do.

Hang in there. You keep looking for your Domme, and I'll keep looking for my sub.