Originally posted by Finding_Fantasy
To both the BDSM Library and to the lifestyle.

I am gald that you have been able to see your way through the abuse. I know it's tough.

One misconception, however, is that ALL submissives have been abused and that is why they are submissives. Well, I know this is not true. I knew of my desires when I was 16, long before I became a victim of abuse. Though, I do agree, you do tend to find a lot of submissives who have been abused in some way in their lives.

It isn't so much of a causal thing as it is a simple matter of statistics.

I have spoken to many submissives about this and yes most of them have been abused in one way or another. However, I don't believe they found the bdsm lifestyle because of the abuse. More likely, they always had the longings and just happened to be abused.

Besides, I'm not exactly sure what the appeal of being spanked and humiliated would be to a person with an abusive past. Unless a "violent" relationship is more comfortable for them. Or perhaps people who have been abused seek someone physically dominating. Who knows?