I'd say you never should, but that's my intellectual opinion, and one I didn't follow myself when I was in my relationship. It finally took me four half liters of beer (a half liter is about a pint) and the combined knowledge of about 300 years of life-experience (a lot of parents and members of an extended family all in their forties to fifties) to make me realise my wrong-doing towards myself and the woman with which I had a relationship. We tried, as it seems you have tried with your husband, talking and talking and talking. But at some point, she would want to talk about everything, trying to analyze it to death for hours. Some of those chats I initiated, about eight or ten of them during a 10-month period, but she would start one almost everytime we met.

I am not saying communication isn't good, I simply say watch out for making communication into a nuisance. Then it will do none of you any good. And maybe at some point you will have to do like me, realise it's dead and cut your losses before your emotional scars get to big.

Please now, this is not meant as critique in any way. This is what I lived through, which to me seems to hold a lot in common with your situation. How you solve it will eventually depend on yourself.