oh Mishka, darling, oh i know how you feel!!!!

i started a thread some time ago when i first joined this site about almost this same thing. i was married vanilla and not until the last year of our five year relationship did i discover my intense desire to be involved in the bdsm lifestyle. and well...my husband was just vanilla through and through.

for him...sex is just the bonus aspect of a good relationship. he'd have sex with me anytime i asked, but he had no desire really to "spice things up" so to say or to try some of the stuff i was interested in. such as spanking, choking, domination......he thinks the bdsm lifestyle is "fucked up".

but he just expected me to do without it. he can't understand why sex is such a big thing to me. i've flat out told him he doesnt please me in the bedroom anymore and he's just like oh well. but he doesnt want to divorce and he doesn't want an open relationship.

*sigh* it's very frustrating. you feel like it's your fault....because well.....he isn't really doing anything wrong. and it seems like it's your fault because it's your desires that are causing the conflict.

but it's not really anyone's fault, because it's just how we feel.

i'm still struggling with my relationship with my husband. because gawd knows i care about him....but how long can a relationship last where one isn't enjoying sex?

if you ever wanna talk or vent, please feel free to pm me.

xoxo!!!