DrkRvn, I never did say that she was the root of the problems. In fact I did say that it was not her fault at all.

However, my advice wasn't based on the logic of 'fairness', but rather on what I felt might help her and bring her happiness. IMHO in relationships you have to give and take, and sometimes even give even when it is actually your turn to receive. Truly, if her spouse had posted here as well, I would have advised HIM to open his eyes to the hurt she was going through and make a much bigger effort to help her! But we can only advise her right now. And if trying several approaches fail, sometimes learning to accept and live with it can bring you greater peace and happiness than blaming yourself for his shortcomings. It is hard, but can be done to a certain degree. Think of all the positive sides of the relationship, the many good things it brings to you. And think, 'would I give up all that for this? is it worth it?' The answer MAY be yes, and it may be no. But either way it is a worthwhile option to consider.