How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle?

Well I'm going to have to say the internet as far as open exposure. My father always had "dirty" magazines around when I was a kid and some of them would hint at it now and then. But I don't ever recall running into the full term BDSM before my internet exploration and good ol' AOL.

What was its appeal to you?

I don't know if appeal is the right word. Drawn, sucked into, enrapt... perhaps those are more accurate. There aren't many times in a person's life when they run into something that feels so inherently right for them. Although can one "run into" something that's been felt inside for their whole life? Perhaps, introduce is a better term.

What misconceptions did you have of BDSM before you began that have been changed now?

Many and varied. Cruetly vs desire, finding the meaning behind some of the terms. From the outside looking in, the words "power exchange" sound mighty damn scary. In fact it wasn't until just very recently that I've come to understand that term better and appreciate it. Although it still has that funny ring to it for me.

One of the things that surprised me was the level of communication that takes place, just how much is shared. And equally as much, how quickly addicting that level of connection is.

What do you hope to learn/teach/pass on to others about BDSM?

To learn? That's a tough one. I've learned so much already but know that I've barely begun my journey. I'm just a baby, so to speak. I know one of my biggest things to learn is patience. But that's been lifelong, not just D/s related.

To teach? Well because it was my biggest stumbling block, I would have to say that just because you've discovered the big wide world of BDSM and the name for your secret desires does not mean that the world has suddenly turned upside down. That you can, and indeed should, only do what you are okay with. In my opinion this is especially important in the beginning.

To pass on? Perhaps one of these days, after I have learned even more... it might be nice to be able to contribute some written words of encouragement from my experiences. Perhaps someone will find my meanderings of value to their journey.

Do you consider yourself a "lifestyler" or just an occasional player?

Is there an inbetween? I'm a feisty opinionated and educated redhead... that just happens to love to please her man and have kinky sex.

What do you enjoy about being dominant/submissive?

In short, I like to please. I like to see him happy with me. On the physical side, I am in lust with ropes and nipple clamps.

What do you like about your dominant/submissive(s), if you have one (them)?

Well the man I am currently getting to know, he is truly the "loving dominant" type fellow. He knows I am not that experienced and has been very patient with me. And in turn, it has made me want to do more for him.

Also he doesn't take himself too seriously. It's not like he's a joker by any means, but he doesn't stand on all the ceremonies that so many do. He knows that the title doesn't make the man, but the man makes the title. If that makes any sense.

Lastly, he appeals to my romantic nature. He is very sweet with me. Never disrespectful and always considerate. He has shown me his tender side.