I have found it...

quirk (kwűrk)
n.
A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: “Every man had his own quirks and twists” (Harriet Beecher Stowe).
An unpredictable or unaccountable act or event; a vagary: a quirk of fate.

...all I can say is everyone has their own weaknesses and strengths, attributes to character and everyone is individual.
You gave dtp some great and wonderful advise about find the "One". Perhaps apply this possibly to aspects of the lifestyle you wish to journey and grow from there.
I know I have a certain signal before this happens to me, very subtle, my body reacts or acts, gives a signal...it is there. Do you have one, perhaps suggest to watch for it or try and recognize it yourself if possible.
I read many say it all depends on the person you are with, they would have to know, to be told...
Would someone wish to travel or endeavor a journey knowing this could and might happen, probably will? I have no idea. I hope so myself, but honestly I do not know.
I know it would take a lot of work and patience on both sides, a lot of determination and learning, knowledge.
Is it possible and probable to surpass these reactions? Yes with patience, trust and openness, again with a lot of work on both sides, understanding.
Outside of BDSM I have passed many of these by myself, and the joy and freedom it gives is surmountable.
Never ever give up hope, it all depends how much you want to move forward and by posting here tells me much. You are already asking. Your post is very intelligent and research thorough, so you know yourself, you are teaching yourself...yet there is only so much one can teach themself by themself.

I wonder to myself...dare I post this? Am I talking too much? I do not wish to assume anything or insinuate, insert...I most certainly do not know all and am learning myself a little bit more.
To answer one of your questions in your first post, it is possible, very probably actually.

softest hugs
echoes