I know I have a certain signal before this happens to me, very subtle, my body reacts or acts, gives a signal...it is there. Do you have one, perhaps suggest to watch for it or try and recognize it yourself if possible.

Definitely something I will try to look for, though I havn't noticed one yet.
I found the best way to do this..and it will not come the first time, but journaling does help, do not avoid what has caused this reaction and examine everything closely leading up to the cause. Go over every particular detail and try to slow it down in your mind after...
The key is to slow your mind down, the chemical response and this done by being aware of yourself and finely attuned. Turn your outer hyper-vigilance into yourself and focus then work. Cognitive behavior work also (very important) The next time it happens, you will notice more until you reach a point you can react vocally, even if minutely, and react physically...giving a small signal.

I think you've made me realise my ultimate dilema ... this challenge may not be one that I can examine and overcome on my own.
At first I think why would you wish to do this alone, then look at myself and shake my head going "uh?"

Yes with someone you trust it would be so much easier, and with someone who knows and accepts what you tell him/her so they too can watch and help. Again communication and not giving up, not thinking a reaction is a failure but the next step to your goal.

My personal feeling only that I give caution BDSM is not a reason to come to for this, also that seeking a relationship is too not a reason to seek this freedom, but the reason being that you are ready for a relationship and wish to embrace and be embraced within this. The same said for this lifestyle...if it is truly calling to you, what you see within is a part of you.

softest hugs
~echoes~