Fear

[Avely]

Avely - I am curious what kind of situation in BDSM context you have found triggers this? If you don't feel comfortable giving this information thats understandable.ID

During the past few years I have been drawn towards certain aspects of BDSM, but refused to let myself explore these desires in part because of my 'freeze' reaction which has occurred in a vanilla context, and also partially because of the social views I was raised with. These desires are something I can no longer ignore and keep reppressed. So far my ventures into the world of BDSM have been solely informative. I'm trying to find the best way to eventually explore some of these desires while minimizing the likelyhood of a 'freeze' reaction from occuring. This is why I have sought advice through the forum.

Well, the very few times that it happened, it appears that frame of mind "before" the scene played a big part. Each time, I had been upset or stressed before the scene... each time, it was the "stingy" toys that led to this (rubber floggers, violet wand) and each time it seemed that I would seem to be getting "right" to subsapce, then bam! stiffen up.

Ds

Avely - Does that kind of situation sound familar to you?

Ds, I thank you for sharing your experiences. It had not occured to me to examine my general frame of mind in the hours leading up to a time where I had a reaction. As I said above, I've only had this reaction in a 'vanilla' setting, and I have had it to varying degrees (degrees relating to the degree of paralysis and the intensity of emotion). Currently, looking back, I can make no parallel connections between my various frames of mind leading up to these incidients. This is something I will attempt to take more note of in the future.

Looking back at those times afterward (and over the years), I now realize I was going back mentally to certian bad times in my life, instead of where I go while in subspace.

I cannot define the mental place I frequent when I have a reaction, needless to say it is a place I most certainly do not care to visit. I cannot relate this 'mental place' with any event of my past. I have noticed that I've developped new triggers after a particularly bad reaction. These triggers will be some minute detail (usually a physical action which would be considered meaningless to most people) that occured in the few minutes preceeding the reaction. If these new triggers are activated by someone or something, I will mentally flashback to the original reaction. With time, I do seem to desensitize to these 'new' triggers until they no longer invoke an outwardly noticable reaction.

Echoes, Ozme52, Ds, ID, I thank you for your continued discussion and input on this topic.

Avely