Quote Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Is an interest in BDSM a result of abuse in early life, or is abuse just a factor that many in BDSM lifestyles seem to share?

I have noticed that many people, both dominant and submissive, have had occurences of abuse earlier in their lives. Is a person's interest in BDSM the result of the abuse or is the person simply abused and then becomes interested in BDSM regardless of it?

Well I can't say I was abused physically. I do have some abandonment type issues regarding my father. Granted he never left, but he did desert us emotionally. I think that may be something that makes me like the close interpersonal levels of connection in a D/s relationship.

I do wonder if my desire to please was influenced by that. I think it was more of an issue when I was younger. I did some really stupid things for men. (Although I think that is a general truism for people.) As I've gotten older though, I've learned to set some boundaries in what I will and will not do and for what and whom. Oddly enough, in many ways D/s has actually helped me to define those boundaries better and feel a bit more in control of things.

I can't speak about physical abuse. Granted I don't like pain, but then the things I do like I tend to call "extreme sensation". It just doesn't cross the bridge over into real pain.


Interesting question, but I can't help but wonder instead of who involved in bdsm was abused, how many people who were abused got into bdsm? And does their particular brand of abuse correlate at all to their particular inclinations?