Quote Originally Posted by matte
No. I was never abused ( in any of the possible ways) when I was younger.

Just have deep intense cravings for extremes of sensations, and whilst not a painslut, I'm masochistic and do have high pain threshold (or so I've been told )

I think for me this in direct relation to my getting depression where you don't feel much at all, so I try to make up for it with physical pain, immobilisation with extreme restraint and different sensation play.
I think the intesity of feelings is the pull for me. My Owner/bf and I were talking about a friend of mine that is very dramatic. She is almost constantly "fighting" with her boyfriend - very often over silly small things - and I think it is because she craves drama. We laughed at ourselves b/c we crave drama as well, we just get it in other ways.

And I feel the exact same way about getting depressed when there isn't much feeling going around or I'm bored. I'm still learning a great deal about BDSM but NONE of it has been boring yet!